i usually am on the pain forum, but i have depression/anxiety too so i popped in here.
i've really been battling some serious health issues. i've had chronic lower back pain for over 5 years for which i take oxycontin and morphine. i am really falling into a big depression due to being recently dx with a cancerous mass in my abdomen.
i also have lupus, fibromyalgia, asthma, OA, migraines. the worst is the mood swings. i am a single mom two two beautiful children, 4 and 5. i get no help from ex. and i am struggling. i have been unable to work for over two month, just started this week two days a week at a desk job. now i have a fever and i know i should not have been in a hospital with my immune system in the toilet. i'm supposed to go for radiation tomorrow.
my depression stems from physical/emotional abuse from exhusband, and ive always been a bullied, unliked child. i wish i did not feel so bad all the time. i've tried therapy, meds, but i just can't seem to find a med that helps me. and now i can't afford it anyway, since my health insurance is going to end at my job (too expensive). after all those years of service, it's being pulled away.
i couldn't even take my kids trick or treating last night. my dad did. i was exhausted after seeing their parade at school in the morning and getting them ready twice.
so, i'm 29, a nurse who's basically unable to physically work (which i miss dearly) and i am in tears and pain almost constantly. i just wanted to vent and i am exhausted.
hello to you all, and i hope you all have a better day than i!!! thanks for letting me vent :)