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Posted 11/4/2006 5:13 AM (GMT -8)
I've been up since 5 this morning, it's now just a bit after six. I'm just sitting here waiting for the sadness and anxiety to leave. I don't know what to think or what to do. I really feel I have no real reason to be here. My poor husband has to worry about me, as if he doesn't have enough to worry about. My oldest daughter will turn 17 this week and I can't seem to get excited about it, let alone my other kids birthdays that will be coming up and the holidays. I need to get out of this funk, I don't want to be a downer for my husband and kids, but I just can't seem to get past the doom and gloom of it all.
I just don't know anymore what to do.
Posted 11/4/2006 6:47 AM (GMT -8)

Suzy35 said...
I don't want to be a downer for my husband and kids, but I just can't seem to get past the doom and gloom of it all.

I am so sorry.  Hope you can find something to be honestly excited about and/or look forward to. 

I'm in your husband's role - and it is soul destroying.  Depression rubs off on those around you.

Hope your weekend picks up and will be better!  :-)

Posted 11/4/2006 6:49 AM (GMT -8)
I know that felling of 'doom'...not good!
When you start reading other peoples probs on this site you begin to realise just how lucky you really are...
Just reading your posting I see that you are blessed in lots of ways - you have a husband and family that supports you..you are sooo lucky..some people out there have no one. You have a daughter that is turning 17 soon..wow...and more family birthdays to follow. These are all good things..I know it's hard to lift yourself out of the blues..maybe just focus on one day at a time..write a list of things you ant to achieve for the day leading up to these events you will be suprised how much you can do - and will soon be ticking items off your list before you know it!
Hope you felling better soon.
Maree
Posted 11/4/2006 5:29 PM (GMT -8)
I do know how lucky I am, I would be truely lost without my husband and kids, they are my life line in the dark times I find myself in. I have kept busy today, got a bunch of laundry done, dishes washed...my dishwasher has been broken for about two weeks...and did some grocery shopping. I got more done today than I thought I would, so I'm happy about that.
Posted 11/4/2006 5:44 PM (GMT -8)
Hi Suzy, that's great! Life is difficult but you found the strength today to overcome. One day at a time. Feel better.
Posted 11/5/2006 1:22 AM (GMT -8)
Hey Suzy, hope your doing better today? I know where your coming from, I have same feelings at the moment and can't get rid of them. The people in the forum are helping me far more than they realise, but there is one thing in particular that is helping (when I didn't think it would) and that is to write it down. It really makes me be honest with myself, some issues are trivial that I blow all out of proportion, some issues are big and I am not giving them the attention they need to resolve.
It is good that you have a supportive husband, and try to take the pleasure in seeing that your daughter is almost 17! I cant have kids, so it is easy for me to say that having a child must be truly amazing. I see it with my nieces and nephews, they were once all so vulnerable and dependant, now growing into the young men and women they are, developing their opinions and values, making mistakes (don't ask). It is truly awsome and often helps lift my mood. To take a minute and look at them for who they are, and really see their beauty and individuality is inspiring. And I am thier Aunt, that makes me feel super! Guess I am a little proud of them!!!!
Posted 11/5/2006 6:19 AM (GMT -8)
Thanks Hopeful and Wizzer. I think I need to do the writing things down. I have seem quite a few people mention it, I guess I have been dragging my feet cuz I'm worried about how it will all look on paper.
My oldest is a good kid and I'm so proud of her, yup, she's made some mistakes along the way, we all do, but I couldn't ask for a better kid. Guess I should tell her that more often.
Posted 11/10/2006 9:49 AM (GMT -8)
Suzy, I noticed you started meds the end of september, are you still taking them, are they not working for you? just wondering how it was going.
Posted 11/10/2006 5:19 PM (GMT -8)
Yes, I"m still taking them and my doc upped the dose. I'm doing pretty good, I felt pretty good yesterday and today. I'm getting ready to head out and have coffee with a friend and have a busy weekend planned, so I'm hoping to keep my mind busy. I have also started writing things down in a notebook.
Posted 11/11/2006 12:10 AM (GMT -8)
I'm really sorry to hear you feel the way you do. These days I'm depressed because I have a mysterious illness, but at times when I was younger I experienced depression for no seemingly no particular reason. Even if you are lucky in a lot of ways, I agree that it's still not a good place to be. Sometimes it may make it even worse if you feel you're disappointing your loved ones.

I never had much luck with the meds, but I've known people who definitely have. Try to be optimistic and try to believe that the pills will help you. If you think they won't, they probably won't! And even if they do work you'll still have a rough day now and then. You're a human, and all humans are sad sometimes. No pill will change that. If you have a bad day or two, then, don't lose faith and stop taking the meds.

Writing is indeed a good thing. You can do it however you want, of course, but I think it may be best to be very elaborate when you write. Don't hold back at all...make it cathartic...get it all out on paper.

Best of luck to you,
DF
Posted 11/11/2006 3:54 AM (GMT -8)
   i can totally relate to you Suzy, i myself feel like i am doomed. life sucks and it's really hard to live with it. i just hope you feel better... good luck!!!
Posted 11/11/2006 5:55 AM (GMT -8)
Hi DF and Karlo. Thanks for the replys. DF, I do think the meds help, quite a bit really, but they don't fix the problems that I have. I just keep taking it day by day.
Karlo, I'm sorry you feel so down. Are you seeing a doc or anything? I hope you feel better soon too.
Posted 11/11/2006 4:51 PM (GMT -8)
Hi Suzy35,

Sorry I am a bit late in responding to this. You have already had some excellent responses to your post and I know you said you are feeling better. I just wanted to add something. Morning anxiety and depression is the worst! I read in a book called "Hope and Help for your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weeks (strongly advise anyone struggling with anxiety and panic to buy or borrow book from library - a Godsend!) that when one wakes up at 5am feeling doom and gloom, panic and/or anxiety, to get up and go for a walk and that may always help. She mentioned in the book that the worst thing to do is to stay in bed or stare at the ceiling or sit anywhere which is what I would always do, when my morning anxiety came about. Also have you talked to your doctor about anti-anxiety meds, such as Busphar, Klonopin, Ativan or Xanax? I know that the Klonopin I was prescribed has really helped with with my morning anxiety. I take one (0.5mg) before bed and I no longer wake up with the panicky/anxious/depressed doom and gloom feeling. I am glad you are feeling better.
Posted 11/12/2006 6:21 AM (GMT -8)
I'm on prozac, which I think is supposed to help both anxiety and depression. I'm starting to feel better over all, just times where I feel it creeping back. Thanks Rianna.
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