i want to know

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/20/2006 4:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for clicking and reading my problem :-)
Im 15 years old and im a sophomore.
i play volleyball and ever since volleyball season has started along with school, i feel so different of myself. i felt so alone, my fellowteam mates would be angry at my for not playing well, they put me down alot. My school grades dropped and im in honors classes. I keep thinking to myself that i cant do this anymore, i wanted to get help but i wasnt sure weather i needed help. I always put myself down.I push my friends away and i cry alot at thinks i thought i would never cry about. I cant concentrate or remember things as much. i use to be soo out going but i've been staying home so much just hanging around my room and thinking of all the failures, putting my self down. It was about a week ago when i suddenly got so mad that i snapped at my friends, for some reason i was really angry at the fact that they never payed attention to me, and now when i think of it i feel selfish. i never get mad at my friends.When i go to sleep i sleep late and  get nervous and wonder whats gonna happen the next day on a school night. Im not motivated to do anything. I cant even study, I just think of myself as a unwanted person and that I dont belong anywhere. I feel so isolated and no one can help me. Im always alone now! it was untill i watched the oprah show and she was talking about being depressed, as she talked about it i started to cry. what the doctor said on the show made me feel so upset. I need help but i want to know if im depressed and if  so where can i get help?
i didnt want to tell the school counselor cause im afraid she would send me to a place where i will have to pay money to see someone for help, my mother isnt able to pay the expenses due to her income. I dont have a father and its hard for me to tell my siblings that im have this problem. I hardly talk to anyone, and if i talk to my friends its very akward and i feel insecure.I have many firiends, but they are distant from me.  I have no one to go too and i kept this inside of me too long. I try to bring myself up but it doesnt last long. I worry about myself everyday. I dont want to go to school tomorrow. I dont want to face it. I hope some one replys or you will motivate me and guide me throught this hard time. thank you for taking time too read about my story here.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3447
   Posted 11/20/2006 11:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Tiffy and welcome to HealingWell!! While I'm no expert, it certainly sounds like you are depressed. Sometimes we just have too much on our plates. While I'm not advocating that you withdraw from life, maybe you need to scale back and concentrate on a just a few activities that you enjoy.

Talk to your counselor, this is exactly what they are there for. I'm sure there are some income-based counseling services if you decide to go that route. Even talking on forums such as this help you to address your feelings.

Pull up a chair and stay awhile. There are many wonderful people on here with which to share our troubles as well as our achievements.

Thoughts and prayers are with you,
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret."
-- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet
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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/20/2006 1:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Tiffy,

I am about 10 years older than you and I had some issues when I was a teenager around your age too... Coming from a broken home, the house I live in was just a "concrete shelter" to me. At school, I was also very withdrawn. My only source of support during those times was books... Yes, books. And I am refering to those self help, psychological kinds. A good book can really help you connect with yourself and sort out your thinking..

As I grow older, I also learnt to understand the importance of having friends.. No matter if your friends can be a pain in the a** sometimes, it's always comforting when you can get good company whenever you need it... And trust me, it gets harder to make frens as you grow older... So remember to treasure the friends you have.

Anyway, through books and friends, I turned out fine. I am sure you will too. Please be strong and be stronger to ask for help when you need it.

By the way, I am currently reading this book called "How to live on twenty four hours a day" by arnold bennet. I got it for free from this website called Inspirational Hub. You can go and get your first self help book there. They got some good inspirational stories there for you to read too. I am not sure if I am allowed to post the url here but I will try anyway.

The webiste is at www.inspirationalhub.com

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 11/20/2006 2:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Tiffy, you are so brave and so wise for reaching out here. When I was your age, I experienced nearly the same thing. Looking back and having experienced depression on and off I now know that I was a depressed teen. I used to have all the confidence in the world, sang solos, sports, etc. Then, my parents went through a horrific divorce and I was left with my abusive Father. I turned inward -- I wouldn't even make eye contact with people at school. I ended up putting all of my eggs in one basket so to speak. I got a boyfriend older than me and let him be my world. When something went wrong, I attempted suicide. I didn't talk to anybody. You, on the other hand, are talking to people. Bravo! Please do talk to the counselor. Tell her you don't have money and she will still help you. That is what they are there for!!!! Also, do you have any friends who go to church and participate in youth group activities. Once you feel safe, you can talk to the group leaders and I KNOW for certain that they will help you. Keep reaching out. You are going to be okay.
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."
"The mighty oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground."
"You are richer today if you have laughed, given or forgiven."

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