I am sorry that you're sad about your break up with Emily. It is natural to be sad and feel lonely when a relationship ends.
You mentioned that Emily has made it clear she doesn't want to be contacted. Respect her request and end your pain faster by moving on. Stop trying to contact her with your youtube messages. Assume she isn't watching them and it's time to start living your life for yourself.
Do you have a support group you can turn to? Parents, siblings, friends? Can you go out with them after work or on the weekends? Can you call them instead of making videos? Do you have another hobby that you haven't practiced in a while? What can you do in your spare time that doesn't involve Emily?
What can you do for a while that will take your mind off Emily while you heal from the hurt of breaking up? I think that you need to accept that it's over and move on, you're only prolonging your hurt by refusing to accept it's over and leaving her messages.
You've found this forum, use it to vent how you are feeling and talk to others who know how you feel. If you don't start to feel better soon, perhaps you might consider finding a therapist who can help you.
Co-moderator Migraine Forum
I'm working everyday to overcome the pain and depression that comes from my chronic resistant migraines.