Posted 12/3/2006 12:51 AM (GMT -7)
I'm 41 now, and I have a bit of perspective on your situation. I was the same way during my teenage years with my Mother. We argued all the time. It was always about stupid stuff, mostly me not wanting to go to church, not making the best grades because I was always behind due to one illness or accident, and I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't like school, mostly because some teachers thought the were totally superior to the students, when they were not as intellegent or were on some power trip and liked to jerk students around because they could.
Anyway, my Mom and I fought a lot, and my Dad, who was usually on my side, wouldn't ever get into the middle of a disagreement. My Mom expected him to support her position, which he usually didn't agree with, then would start yelling at him because she had to be the "bad guy" all the time. That would make me even more mad. She even threatened to go stay in a hotel, but never did. I even prayed for my parents to get divorced. They never did.
Once I got out of the house, my sister was in the hot seat for a while. Now as adults, we alternate who is the "good" daughter, based on my Mother's mood. Our family motto is:
"If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"
We even have that carved into a wood plaque in our family room. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this too will pass. Just try to stay out of arguements, and once you are out and on your own, you can call your own shots.
I'm on disability now, so I basically don't have anybody to answer to. I do things I want to do, even if I know my Mom will be bent out of shape. I've died my hair magenta, spiked the top really short, got my upper ear cartilege pierced on both ears, and repierced my eye-brow. I were lots of black clothes, spikes and chains, skeletons and handcuff earings, and I smoke. I've basically regressed twenty years and do what I want to do when I feel well enough. None of these things (except for smoking) are anything but personal preference, and they can all be changed on a whim. After all, she colors her hair to cover her gray. I do the same thing, I just use a color she doesn't like. Big whoop.
Anyway, things that seem so serious now, you probably won't remember most of as time goes on. For now, just try to stay out of the way of your Dad. Avoid arguing/conflict if at all possible, and no matter how mad you are, never refuse an honest hug. We only have today, 'cuz you never know what will happen tomorrow. Things happen, and you never want to be in a position of regretting things that can be fixed.
Best of luck. Let us know how you are doing.
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