I am 40years old and seem to have spent most of life being hurt by friends and family. All I ever wanted to feel was considered and be part of another's life, but I only find myself on a merry go round and never getting off. Even as child I don't believe I had true friendships, even after school I no longer saw class members except one girl who I considered a best friend dumped me when she found a boy friend. I then spent my twenties alone and just working and playing tennis. I moved away overseas in my thirties and again was alone, I would meet people who then would go back to their own countries never to hear of them again.
Another girl I thought was a friend constantly hurt me and this year I just decided never to contact her again.
I answered classified adds only to find the guys were unhappily married and not willing to commit to a friendship.
Why is it too much in life today to ask another "please consider me"? It seems most people think of themselves and in deep down just have their own agenda with no thought for the other.
I am just so sick of it now, I have tried and I only seem to face the same obstacles. I do not have any real friends here, I am not someone who drinks or goes to clubs so I will never meet someone with common interests.
I am not sure anymore if I can ever make another effort, it hurts too much now and all I do is cry myself to sleep. Trying to reach out for something that is just not there. All I can think about now is that the only person in the world who I can relate to and accepts me is my Mother who is now very elderly, and who knows how much longer she will live and once she is gone I will have no one.
Sometimes I wish there was an easy way to just end things.