its okay to be lost. We just may need to stop and ask for directions. THe best thing you can do for your 2 precious ones, is take care of mommy. I know its hard, heck, taking a shower and getting out the door is masive, much less actually taking the time to do something for ME?? I so wish I had something better, more encouraging to tell you. I wish I had that magical phrase. I do know, that my faith in God is the ONLY reason i am here today. You don't realize how much we need him till he's all we have left. And, even being a Christian, I feel alone all the time, abandoned, mad, sad, frustrated, apathy, the why's start flowing, and the tears just seem to be stuck somewhere deep inside. But, its all I have, my faith in my Savior.
I respect you so much, because I know all you want it to take care of your little ones, be the best mom you can be, but somehow, someway, you need some help. Maybe like one day a week of day care could be worked out finacially. Maybe just a couple hrs. of a babysitter. Just to get out. Talk to someone with a vocabulary over a few phrases.
I would try to do anything you can, to get up and get busy. I know that seems impossible, especially right now, but it helps.
Again, I wish there was more I can say.
PS: In my town we have several "Stay at home mom groups" and single mom groups" that may meet once a week at Chick-fil-a or something. Check into something like that
Please don't be offended by my quoting of the scripture but heres what helps me
"I have called you by name, you are mine when you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be there with you when you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! For I am your God, the Holy One, your Savior" Issaiah 43:1-3