Posted 12/11/2006 3:23 PM (GMT -7)
i'm just a guest here - i spend most of my time and energy in the bi-polar forum. but your story struck me. if i knew why bad things happen to good people, i would be rich instead of subsisting on social security. nevertheless it is a good question.
in my experience, when a person gets down they keep getting kicked until they stagger back to their feet. sorry, hon, there is no silver bullet or magic potion. having said that, and having spent 60 years depressed, take the medication, it helps. i was falling into a real humdinger depression and my psychiatrist presceibed welbutrin. pulled my out of the depression in less than a week. but what works for memight not necessarily work for you.
i agree that if you don't "vibrate" with your psychiatrist, find another one. yours sounds like some i've had (i've been around longer than you and, i would therefore assume, that i have seen more shrinks than you have). these docs are out for the money and aren't really inerested in helping their patients. i had one about 10 yrs ago who was just a kid - i've forgotten more psychology than he ever learned with his ms in counceling. i told him what i thought of him. the psychiatrist who he reported to told my wife that i was "beligerant." darned right i'm beligerant. medicare is paying some money for this jerk to help me. he failed. your pdoc has failed. get another one.
there is a jewish saying that my grandmother was very fond of. "life is a wheel. when you're on the bottom, pray to god because some day you will be on the top. when you are on the top pray to god also for some day you'll be on the bottom."
by the way, in the story of job in the bible, the angel who convinced god to test job is not the devel. the hebrew word translates more like "devel's advocate" or "someone who tests."
you have your faith. cleve to it, it will give you strength. i have my religion, too, and cleve to it for my support and inspiration.
and remember, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" (s. freiud)