As of right now it's just past 4:30 in the morning and I haven't been able to sleep. I'm worried about
my grades this semester since I've spent the majority of it feeling alone and depressed, hiding in my room. Now I fear I could be dropped from my college. I don't know how I can tell my parents, since all they've expected of me is to do well in school and I've been putting up a facade for so long. I've sadly pushed most my friends away from hiding out and not participating in usual things. While I don't feel suicidal. I've been seeing my psych for over four years now and have been through three different kinds of meds (Zoloft, Prozac, and now Effexor). I know I should go to someone and
open up, but I'm so afraid of letting my family and friends down. Do any of you feel like you're just causing pain for others but you can't figure out how to make it better? Cycling through this again and again is starting to wear out. It's like a terrified perfectionist, but lacking in the motivation to actually try and be perfect. Sometimes I feel I'm at the end of my rope. Honestly, I'm not sure why I even bothered to post, but I guess I'm just looking for some positive support from someone who hasn't seen me go through this time and time again. Some days I wish I wouldn't wake up from my dreams.