you are partially right according to my research. each individual deals with loss uniquely. however, there are begaviors which transend individuals - indeed transend cultures. it is these "universals" that i was using in my posting. i think that everyone today is familiar with the stages of loss, leading, eventually, to acceptance. anger is one of the most intence of these stages, which is why i stressed it in my post.
it is lovely that you were able to move along with your lidfe afterr your dovorce. you may be the exception that proves the rule. seriously, in my experience and in my research, lack of being able to move on - getting stuck - rules.
there are several reasons for this inability. the primary cause, in my opinion, is the legal system and (spit) attorneys. until recently, there had to be a reason or reasons to obtain a divorce. i think it was in the late 50s that john rockefeller had to purjer himself by saying under oath that he had had an affair in order to get a divorce from his wife. this purjery cost him the presidential nomination. to legitimize their fees, attorneys "stir the bucket" to get their client to the point of taking all of the money from the bank accounts and run up charge cards. it is also this stirring that will cause clients to hide assets.
i agree that each invividual is responsible for his/her own life/dreams/and hells that he/she creates. but if i see a woman getting raped in broad daylight in the middkle odf madison avenue in new york, you can bet your bottom bippie that i will get involved. not that i know the woman being raped, but because i believe that there is a bond between all things in the universe animate and inanamate. if you fall down a flisgt of stairs and are unablke to move (as i was in 1991) wouldn't you want someone to help you? my wife helped me (she is good at that - i wish i were as good). if the daughter cares about her mother she should not push anything or anyone. pushing builds resentment. if i remember my words, i believe that i said she should support her mother and encourage her mother. these actions are very different from pushing, as a thermonucleur bomb is different from honest negotiation.
if you berleive that having a pet is the issue than you will never understand that going to dinner has nothing to do about eating.
i hope that this has disambiguaterd my previous post. sorry if i have been blunt. i had back surgery a few days ago and i hurt like bloody he**.
best wishes to you and everyone on this board for a happy new year.