Getting pummelled by major negative life events at same time

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/28/2006 3:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Last 6-12 months have been a horror show...
Separated from wife, leaving house...her new boyfriend arrived shortly thereafter without my knowledge...and kids for an apmt by myself... 
Finances have gone down the tube including scheduled foreclosure on the house...
Worst has been missing my kids...hadn't cried in many years but cry every other weekend when they leave with their mother.  It rips my heart and my soul apart.
Last weekend my sister had an alcohol-withdrawal related seizure, almost died, and I'm now in the process of petitioning for her guardianship.
Much more "stuff" going on, all of which has worn me down to the point where I can't give much more anywhere else (i.e. work)
I've been treated for depression/anxiety, as well as ADHD for many years, with counseling and meds.  However, this is the first time I truly feel like I'm about to have a nrevous breakdown.
Bottom line:  I'm having a hard time just getting one foot on the floor in the morning...staying in bed and hiding from life seems much more appealing.  And it's getting worse. 
I see my counselor every month and take both Effexor XR and Adderall.
Wondering if anyone has approached their employer/appled for medical leave of absence of sort term disability in situations like this where everything has crashed down at once and what was once routine (getting up in AM, going to work) is now a major chore? 
Also wondering if a more aggressive schedule with counselor (i.e. three days a week vs. once a month) might help.

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 12/28/2006 7:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Stixxx, first I want to say that I'm sorry to hear about all the things that you are going through... that is a LOT to cope with in such a little time.
Therefore, I think that one therapist session once a month is not enough. So if you are able to increase the number of sessions that would be much better. I see mine 5-6 times a month.
I'm not sure that I'm the best to give you any advice regarding your work situation and telling your employer, because I live in Denmark and I'm not familar with the system where you're at, but I can definately tell you how it felt to level with my boss about my situation.
I went to her and asked for a reduce working schedule, which ment that I would be on a part-time leave of absence to due to illness. The reason why I wanted to work part time was that I didn't want to let my co-workers down, while two of my male co-workers already are away from work due to depressions. And also, I didn't want to end up being a cave woman hiding in bed under my cover all day. I told her everything, and she was very understanding and it felt good afterwards. But still, to work part time was not the answer - my throwing up when I had to leave my apartment in the morning, my panic attacks in the parking lot continued. So not I'm on a full time leave of absence.
My therapists says that my desire to hide is my body telling me that I'm filled up mentally, and that it needs rest, and I think the same goes for you. I have experience that I think more clearly when I'm not panicking because of the pressure of leaving my home.
I'm divorced myself, and I have two kids, and when I'm with them I manage to be there for them, but I don't think I could continue being there for them, if I didn't allow myself to just be me alone under the cover!
I don't know if this was at any help. I hope to hear how you're doing from time to time.
My thoughts are with you, and I wish you all the best,'

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 12/28/2006 11:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello to both of you and welcome to HealingWell. I too have been going through one major life event after another. I'm unemployed, out of money and do not have a clue where I am going to live -- and not for lack of effort on my part. I have also suffered severe depression and anxiety. I have had frequent thoughts of ending my life. But, that would be selfish and cruel so I keep going. I sometimes pull the covers over my head as if I am really hiding. If you can afford more counseling, by all means do it. Talk to someone in HR about the leave of absence. Some companies have a program where you can go to a counselor three times confidentially to discuss these types of things and they refer you to the right places and could be of a lot of help to you while considering your options.

I just want you to know that you are not alone and you are cared for by people here at HealingWell. I am so sorry for the losses you are experiencing and the stress. Do whatever you can to take care of YOU b/c you are the only you that you've got.

God bless,
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 12/29/2006 5:19 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi stix, Welcome to healing well, we are happy to have you but so sorry it is under these circumstances. 

First, you could take advantage of FMLA (family medical leave act) for depression with your job but they are under no obligation to hold your position when you do return to work.  Here is a link on FMLA rules and regs to read up on if your interested in this.  Perhaps, you may want to try first taking some vacation time and getting into your doctor and seeing about a medication adjustment as it seems that your Effexor isnt doing the job effectively for you...granted your going through a lot of stuff right now and it is stressful.  I too would also recommend bumping up your counseling sessions maybe once a week or once every two...whatever you can manage.  We are always here so please do feel free to keep posting. Take care

Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/2/2007 7:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh my God.stixxx..I am so sorry I have been posting about the same time because mom passed away.Young son having problems.Husband whom I thought truly loved me leaving.Ripped my heart out.Felt like nervous break down.Came here to talk.And now getting help.Got on an anti-depressant that started helping most yesterday.Feel a little normal today.Everyone here has been so great and have helped me so much to see things,I could'nt see...Gosh I am so sorry everyone.I so understand.And yes we do need alone time under the covers.I don't know how else to go it...I wish everyone all the love possible...

Take care everyone...I care

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/3/2007 8:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Gosh I hope you are okay and things get better!

Take care everyone...I care

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