Hi Stixxx, first I want to say that I'm sorry to hear about all the things that you are going through... that is a LOT to cope with in such a little time.
Therefore, I think that one therapist session once a month is not enough. So if you are able to increase the number of sessions that would be much better. I see mine 5-6 times a month.
I'm not sure that I'm the best to give you any advice regarding your work situation and telling your employer, because I live in Denmark and I'm not familar with the system where you're at, but I can definately tell you how it felt to level with my boss about my situation.
I went to her and asked for a reduce working schedule, which ment that I would be on a part-time leave of absence to due to illness. The reason why I wanted to work part time was that I didn't want to let my co-workers down, while two of my male co-workers already are away from work due to depressions. And also, I didn't want to end up being a cave woman hiding in bed under my cover all day. I told her everything, and she was very understanding and it felt good afterwards. But still, to work part time was not the answer - my throwing up when I had to leave my apartment in the morning, my panic attacks in the parking lot continued. So not I'm on a full time leave of absence.
My therapists says that my desire to hide is my body telling me that I'm filled up mentally, and that it needs rest, and I think the same goes for you. I have experience that I think more clearly when I'm not panicking because of the pressure of leaving my home.
I'm divorced myself, and I have two kids, and when I'm with them I manage to be there for them, but I don't think I could continue being there for them, if I didn't allow myself to just be me alone under the cover!
I don't know if this was at any help. I hope to hear how you're doing from time to time.
My thoughts are with you, and I wish you all the best,'