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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/1/2007 10:32 AM (GMT -7)   
 First time posting here.I am usually with crohns.So much going on don't know where to start.I am in such a sad place I could just curl up.I went to immediate care on fri they put me on effexor xr.I know it takes a while to help,but I am not liking the side effects,and scared of the witdrawel Ive read.I dont know how to come out of this.I have never been depressed.My mom passed from a year suffering with alzhiemers,i was sad but I was strong.My son has been suffering anxiety attacks on verge of depression,I have fought for him.But now my loving husband of 15 years is leaving and I cant deal.He said he tried to ignore it and deal with it,But says he hasnt been happy for a year.Honestly he is a good man,always has been.He doesnt want to hurt us.This will send our son over the edge Im afraid.If he was an ****** it wouldnt hurt so bad.It is ripping me apart.How do I deal with this for my son.I can't go into the hospital.There is noone for my son...... Sorry guys just did not know where to go.Hard to get thru the day,just want the pain to stop...
Take care everyone...I care

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 1/1/2007 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh C' Gal,

I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. My heart aches for you.

From my experience....separation, divorce and the resulting pain it causes our children, is very difficult to deal with. I learned the hard way that "ignoring it" and the "stiff upper lip" approach is not the way to go. My case differs in that my ex-husband was abusive; however, the feeings of guilt and failure are the same. I moved to a new city to give my son a fresh start. He is doing much better since we are away from the constant abusive behavior which continued after the divorce. He still suffers occasionally from anxiety (my son is 10).

If I could redo my situation, I would begin therapy immediately.......for my son and me. I am about to start a support class for divorcees. This particular class is hosted by one of the larger Churches in my community and is open to anyone in need. They also have classes for children.

I hope this helps a little. Oh .......I am taking wellbutrin and trazedone. This combination is helping me but It is my experience that you have to try several before finding the right mix.

Please let me know if I can help......


God, Please Grant Me,

The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things that I can,

and The Wisdom to know the difference……….Just for Today


Major Depression, Anxiety/Panic Disorder, ADHD, Binge Eating Disorder, PTSD, Degenerative Disc Disease (post Fusion),  Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia,  Restless Leg Syndrome, Interstitial Cystitis, IBS, GERD, Larngopharyngeal Reflux 



Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/1/2007 11:10 AM (GMT -7)   
 Thank you so much,but I am trying so hard for my son,13.If he sees me tore up he will fall apart.I know I have to get help with this.I just want to make it thru.Never knew such unbearable pain...Am suppose to see someone this week...I havent gone to our church yet.They dont even know...I know I will have to go because I have noone.My husband says he will be here for me,but that just makes it worse...I love him...He has to go if hes going so I can get over this.If I ever can...

Take care everyone...I care

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 1/1/2007 1:00 PM (GMT -7)   
my heart and my good thoughts eally gop out to you.  you are in what seems like the worst of all possible worlds.
i would like to piggy-back on your posting for a minite, if you don't mind.  just exactly when did relationships and children become disposable?  my wife and i have not had a bed of roses.  ususally it was me as the transgressor.  but i always knewe that i lived my wife and that we would work it out.  i just don't understand people (men and women) who give up on a relationship and children just because "it doesn't feel good anymore."  that's plain bull hovky!
end of rant/.  no need to defend your husband, girl, i wasn't just speaking about him.
girl, you are doing all of the right things.  you are trying to find a support group (in addition to this virtual one) and you are trying to cope with the pain as best you can.  ther only other thing is therapy.  if you don't have insurance and don't have the financial means, there are some free clinics in major cities that i've herd of.  ministers, rabbis, and priests ae alsogood sources of advice and support.
hope this helps.  i will hold you in my thoughts.
That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.
Some day you'll learn that a good bm is better than sex.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/1/2007 1:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so much,I really am trying.I wish he would stay and try,but then what might happen later.Pain all over again.And it hurts in my gut.I really love this man.And its hard cause hes still in the house but I feel like I cant hug him or anything,just cant explain.And am so worried about son...already so many problems.I wish more families would tough it out.I know things get hard,but I always know it will get better...

Take care everyone...I care

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 1/1/2007 2:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Cgal, I am so very sorry for your losses. First and foremost, take care of YOU. Otherwise, their will be no you to take care of your Son. Don't go off of the meds w/o consulting with your doctor. What side effects are you having? Secondly, can you get you and your Son into some counseling? Since your husband is a decent man, maybe he could join you for your Sons sake. Tell him that the purpose of the counseling is not for reconciliation but to support "our Son" through this divorce. God willing, the man could change his feelings in the process too. If he is unwilling to go, please get the two of you into counseling ASAP.
Let us know how you are doing. God bless.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/1/2007 4:00 PM (GMT -7)   
 The side effects are dry mouth which I can deal with,but it seems to be irritating my bladder.Like I have to go alot.But tonight I finally am starting to feel slightly better.I am scared of the withdrawel symptoms,so will definately not stop without doc.I am hoping side effects will go away.My son is already in therapy for his anxiety,but I really had'nt thought of us going together for him.I mean we have been with him but not for us,he does'nt know yet and I am scared for him to know.If its killing me,what will it do to him...

Take care everyone...I care

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