my heart and my good thoughts eally gop out to you. you are in what seems like the worst of all possible worlds.
i would like to piggy-back on your posting for a minite, if you don't mind. just exactly when did relationships and children become disposable? my wife and i have not had a bed of roses. ususally it was me as the transgressor. but i always knewe that i lived my wife and that we would work it out. i just don't understand people (men and women) who give up on a relationship and children just because "it doesn't feel good anymore." that's plain bull hovky!
end of rant/. no need to defend your husband, girl, i wasn't just speaking about him.
girl, you are doing all of the right things. you are trying to find a support group (in addition to this virtual one) and you are trying to cope with the pain as best you can. ther only other thing is therapy. if you don't have insurance and don't have the financial means, there are some free clinics in major cities that i've herd of. ministers, rabbis, and priests ae alsogood sources of advice and support.
hope this helps. i will hold you in my thoughts.