Thank you so much for the advice. I'm a mess right now, I know. I have so many mixed emotions running thru my head. I am thankful that I have you guys to talk to. You know it took all these years of being married and going thru this abuse to actually open up to people, reach out to get help. Like I said I even tried to get help thru my doctor and she ended up putting me on Lexapro. Thanks for being such a caring group of people.