I can relate to the physical illness part of your post and being dependant upon another. I have always been very self sufficient...my mom raised me that way and I have never wanted be reliant upon another for anything. When I became sick with MS I was newly married (2 yrs) although we had been togther for 7 before that. Even though I struggled with my illness and the changes in my physicial self I never asked my husband for a thing...we ended up divorcing as he couldnt take my being sick and the change in our relationship (me).
When I left him I moved in with my mom until I could find an apartment or house. That was the first time I had returned home since I moved out at 18. So I was dependant upon my mom during that time and it bothered me greatly. Once I found an apartment I was in it for 6 months and became sick again with an autonomic disorder called MSA. I have uncontrollable drops in my blood pressure so I have had to move back in with my mom and her husband of 3 yrs.
It bothers me greatly that there are days that I am dependant on her to take care of me, brush my hair, help me get dressed and shower because I cant do it. I always make a point to thank her when i get my senses back and my BP comes back up but she brushes it off...as if it is her duty.
I wouldnt worry so much about leaning on your husband. That's what he is for and you are so lucky to have a man that is there for you and cares for you that way. I know it is difficult to feel positive in life...I feel that way alot too. But I just try to take things one day at a time and see where they land. Stay strong...