I just want to give you a big hug, i'm so sorry you've had such a hard life. It's a lot to carry around with you, being raped twice, your fathers treatment, the isolation you're feeling. It must have taken a lot to share all of that here, i think you are a very courageous person. I know your self-esteem is low but you are a survivor, and you have got through so much. I'm really glad you have found a nice partner, and you have two lovely children.
I don't know how old your children are so it's hard to suggest anything. All i can think is if they are young maybe looking for some toddler parent groups/clubs, where you and your kids can meet new people. Is it possible for your mother or mother in law to have the children over for the night once a week, month, or fortnight, that way you could find a class or club you could get into, that's a good way to meet people. What are your neighbours like?
Have you considered seeing a counsellor to talk everything through? There are some good ones, as well as not so good ones, out there so you have to see who you get on with the best if you decided to go down that route. I found counselling so helpful to resolve emotions i'd bottled up for years about my father and my violent ex. The crying uncontrollably might be your emotions 'bubbling over', it might help to talk through some of them with someone who is impartial and non-judgemental?
I really feel for you, there's nothing worse for me than feeling isolated and lonely. I'm the same when my partners not here, every noise in the night makes my knees knock!
Sending you hugs,
'Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm....'