it's ok if our friends are doing better than us as long as they're not intentionally 'rubbing our noses in it', because that's not a nice thing to do, and if someone is doing that, they're not really a true friend. True friends acknowledge how we're feeling, and we naturally feel safe and good around them, and want to be around them. True friends don't go on about how much money they've got when they can see us struggling, or how happy they are with a partner if they can see we're lonely. It sounds like you need to find some new friends. It's not so much that our friends have changed, it's more that we have changed and need to adapt our surroundings accordingly. I used to know a lot of people where i used to live, but i could only call about two of them true friends. The rest were either aquaintences or fair weathered people that were only interested in me if i was ok. I'm only in contact with those two people from my past, and i've made new friends. I only have about five really close friends compared to all the people i used to know, but i'd rather have those five any day, because they are there for me through good and bad times, and visa versa.
It's nothing to feel guilty about, you're at a time in life when you want support and understanding and friendlyness around you, not reminding of all the things you haven't got. I used to feel bad inside everytime i passed a happy couple when i was a struggling single mother. It's natural to crave those things you want the most. As my partner always says; 'have faith, time takes care of everything'. He's right, it took me over four years of struggling on my own, but i'm getting there now. You'll find your ideal job and partner in time, so please don't despair. I know that's not much comfort now when you are struggling to make ends meet, i'm still broke and struggling with debt too so i empathise with the pressures you're going through. I keep hanging onto the 'time takes care of everything'. I'm on a four year University course to hopefully get a job i want to be in by the end of it. I've had more than my fair share of stacking shelves, and cleaning toilets to last me a lifetime! Keep your eye on your goal, and don't let go of your dreams, because if you keep sight of them they will come true.
Lots of love,
P.s; look around you more when you're walking around, i bet more men are acknowledging you than you realise. I used to be convinced i was a hologram and men just looked straight through me, or totally didn't see me altogther, until my mum pointed out if i spent as much time looking back at them as i did looking at my feet when i was walking, i'd have realised it to!!!! It's a confidence thing, something i'm still working on!!!!
P.P.S; I had run out of steam to do the upbeat interview thing to, so at my last interview i just said; 'i know i'm supposed to be all positive, but there's a fine line between being positive and plain lying, i'm not flexible - i have a disabled son who is my priority, i'm not confident - i've been at home looking after my son a long time, but i will build my confidence up in time, and i have had depression and related things in my past but at the moment i'm doing ok!' She laughed, she said she did honesty much better than people trying to impress her, and turned out she really liked me! So don't be too down about your interview, some people prefer honesty, others prefer you to impress them. You can't be miss sunshine 24 hours a day, you're only human!!!! At least you had the courage to turn up to the interview and do your best, that's what counts
'Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm....'
Post Edited (saeharr) : 1/25/2007 4:35:35 PM (GMT-7)