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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 1/26/2007 2:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been going thru a very difficult time in my life.  I've been having very dreadful thoughts .  I just can't see light at the end of the tunnel.  Last night I ended up calling the National suicide prevention hotline.   I called the doctor and she increased my meds, but I still feel this way.  What can I do?   sad

Had to edit part of your post due to healing well rule number 1:

1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Sorry x

Post Edited By Moderator (Victoria) : 1/27/2007 4:56:44 AM (GMT-7)

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 1/26/2007 3:09 PM (GMT -6)   
rainey said...
I have been going thru a very difficult time in my life. I've been having very dreadful thoughts about ending my life. I just can't see light at the end of the tunnel. Last night I ended up calling the National suicide prevention hotline. I almost did it then. I called the doctor and she increased my meds, but I still feel this way. What can I do? I just don't want to live anymore. [img]/community/emoticons/sad.gif[/img]

I have suffered from bouts of recurring depression all my life. I can tell you this: suicide is NEVER the answer for depression. You did the right thing by calling for help, and if suicidal thoughts continue to plague you, call again! The depression will pass, I promise you. I know how you feel. I'm going through a rough time myself, but I've been through this so many times that I know it will eventually pass. I realize it's difficult to feel hope with the way you feel (hopelessness is part of depression), but I assure you this is plenty of hope. Hang in there, there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't see it right now.

New Member

Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 1/26/2007 6:33 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Rainey,

Sheralyn is right, it's hard to see the depression lifting when you're right in the middle of it, but it's true, it can.

Eleven years ago i had a nervous breakdown, my depression came to a head and was at it's most severe.  I like you couldn't see any point, i felt so much in pain mentally it was hard to breath some days.  I remember my mum saying "we'll get you back to yourself", and me saying "what if this is me, what if this is as good as it's going to get?"  I tried two suicide attempts back then which both times ended me in hospital.  Sheryln is right, it's not the answer, it just adds to the problems.  It doesn't solve anything.

Eleven years on you wouldn't guess i'm the same person.  The depression hasn't completely gone, but it's so much more managable and mild now, and i do see light, lots of it, i see a future now.  I have a lovely little boy, and a lovely partner, and a career i'm working towards and i've never felt happier.  There is a future beyond depression, and no matter how dark it gets there is a way out of it.  I'm walking proof of that! I can guarantee if you asked most of the people i knew back then if they thought i was going to get passed all that, they would have said no; i'm still astounding them when i occassionally bump into them now!  They're always so shocked at how well i'm doing and how well i look compared to what i was like before.

It's hard to believe it, but it's true, there's always a future within reach worth fighting for, and i promise you it's so rewarding when you do get past the worst of it, and you start really living life.

Keep talking to doctors and counsellors, and friends.  Whatever it is that helps, even a little.  I used to write a lot when i was badly depressed, it just helped to get my thoughts down on paper.  Is there anything you particularly have an interest in that you can get into, even just a little bit; like music, walking, reading, animals, photography etc....?  I had a little black and white cat back then called Pompey (not my choice of name lol!!!!) but he was like my soulmate, he was so loving and cuddly.  It's surprising how therapeutic that can be, i used to talk to him a lot.  It's important to find something you get some enjoyment out of, and do it for yourself, somethig just for you.

Am thinking of you,

Best Wishes,

Sarah :-)

'Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm....'

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 1/27/2007 6:59 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Rainey,

Sorry I had to edit some of your post-hope you understand.  You did the right thing by getting help.  If you still feel this way, see your doctor again as youc annot go on feeling like this.  I spent 4 months in hospital when i was really depressed and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.  I got my life back together.

You will get better, it just takes time.  Please don't be scared to ask for help in times of need, it is the best thing you can do.  You are strong to have called for help the other day.

Take care

Victoria x

Contact me at:

Xx life is worth living xx


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