I am new to this finnaly came to grips with my situation

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 1/29/2007 9:23 AM (GMT -6)   

My name is "harg" i am a 30 yr old man with 2 children and a loving wife... The perfect story huh... Well i wont allow it to be that way see i have relized i am an addict on many lvls the #1 is pain i am so addicted  to. Have i ever been truly happy? ..i am and addict i guess of emotional and physical pain..Do you ever feel like you are screaming at the top of your lungs and nobody hears you? or like you are in a mud pit trying to get out and everytime you think you are there you fall right back in. As a child i was a victim of addicted parents i was a victim of neglect among many other thing physically and emotionall abusive father and mother who was so weak she could not see and all the family members who knew and did nothing do i mean nothing... i never had anyone to hold me and tell me it was going to be ok.. in 1995 i lost the closest most dear soul mate anyone could have my cousin Luke.. I was one of the popular ones in school the jock that everyone loved the kid that everyone wanted to be sad really the whole time i hated myself and still do i have been with my wife now 8 yrs and i fiannlly broke down to her and told here my feelins in a song..And if i show you my darkside, will you still hold me tonite? and if i open my heart and show you my weak side what would you do. Would you take the children away,. would you leave me alone? and smile in reassurance, as you whisper down the phone? or would you send me poacking? Or would you take me home? make me tear up every time i hear it ... i am so scared.. i feel so alone even with people around me who love me...I have had problems and atemps with the big S in the past ....I dont drink i dont use drugs i will not make the same mistakes my parents made.. Turning complete inoccenes in pure fear and lonliness... Does anyone know how i feel.. please i need sombody to relate with... i have never looked for professional help .. do i need it?? Harg


Harg I had to edit a part of your post due to healing well rule number 1:

1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Please read Healing Well rules before posting, thankyou

Post Edited By Moderator (Victoria) : 1/29/2007 7:55:03 AM (GMT-7)

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 1/29/2007 9:23 AM (GMT -6)   
:) i think i psted it under the wrong place... :(  am srry

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 1/29/2007 9:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Harg
Welcome to Healing Well.  It seems as though you have a lot of unresolved issues from your past and I think it would be wise for you to seek help from a professional.
You really need to seek help for your problem with self injury as this can soon become a problem that can get out of control quickly.
Talk to your doctor about what help he can offer you ie. medication, therapy etc
Good luck

Victoria x

Contact me at: victoria@healingwell.net

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 2/1/2007 9:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Harg,

I'm sorry that you have been through so much. I think it is the best thing in the world that you have fianlly opened up to your wife and that you are opening up on the forum.

With all this emotion bottled up inside you for so long no wonder you have had those 'dark' thoughts. However, it really sounds to me like you are ready to begin the process of healing and that is so WONDERFUL and so POSITIVE!

This is a great place to vent, to look for advice and to share. However, it sounds to me like you could really use the help of a professional to sort through all these different issues you are dealing with.

Perhaps you & your wife could do some sessions together. I can't imagine that you going through life with all these negative emotions inside you has not affected your family in some way. We all think we are so good at hiding things but I'm not sure we really are.

Good for you Harg! Please let us know how you are getting along and come here to vent whenever you need. Post often!!!
Please check out all your lyme friends from Healingwell...

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