Okay, so I'm new here, and have no clue if I have this disorder or not. Here's what happened:
It started about the age of 9 or 10. I didn't see my family for almost 3 years, was dealing with the bully at school, and hardly had any friends. I thought about suicide alot, but I don't believe I was suidcidal. I did try it once, if anyone cares (Yes, at the age of 10). It got fairly better, when I visited my family for about 3 weeks before I moved on to my new home, here in a new state. (Dad's in the army so we move every 3-4 years. And yes he did go to Iraq.) Everything was perfect, until 7th grade, and I got my first serious boyfriend. I believed we were perfect and meant to be (But don't we all with our first official boyfriends?) until Summer came. He hardley talked to me, ignored my calls, and just basically used me to show off to his friends. He told everyone in his hometown me and him were having sex (Which we weren't) I learned that if his "Friends that are girls" were still there, he would have cheated on me, but hey he ended cheating on me anyway. My relationship with him was making me worse and worse each day, so I turned to the chatrooms and made what I believed to be some pretty close friends. Basically older guys around the age of 18. I met this one boy who I became attatched to almost instantly. He was always there, had no intention of sex, just a friend. My mom found out about him, and started monitering me everytime I was on the phone or computer, and forbid me to see him. Which caused me even more pain, because I was so utterly fond of him, and he became one of my top priorities in life. I remember collapsing on my room floor and crying for hours before falling asleep, waking up in the middle of the night and crying again.
So I got over it after a few months. But back to the boyfriend. He started putting all this mean stuff up on his myspace like "Should I brake up with my girlfriend?" and people would reply "Yes because she's stupid and mean, a ***** etc." That hurt deeply, so I ended RIGHT there and then. Soon after my Best Friend, basically the only one I could trust moved far away. I cried for days. Started the next grade. I had my 2nd hour class with none other then my ex. I almost started crying Right then and there infront of everyone.
So a few more "Things" happen.
Next thing I know, he's practically begging me to give him a second chance. After 3 weeks of his nonsense, I finally say yes. It was fine until some of my friends became his friend. They are constantly all over him right infront of me. He ignores me most of the time, so basically history is repeating. Also, I just learned yesterday that he was planning on asking another girl out, but she told him he liked another guy, so he started asking me out. So I'm a crappy backup.
Also (Just one more thing I promise!) my dog died about 3 weeks ago. Now I know it's only a dog, but she was with me most of my life, and is extremely important to me. But since then, I noticed that I haven't eatin much, hardly sleep, extremely tired at school, nothing really seems important anymore, and I feel as if no one cares about me at all, also my grades went from A's to D's and I've been pushing my friends and family away. I've been snapping at people with no apparent reason, and I NEVER snap at people, ESPECIALY at school, infront of people. I cry atleast every 2 days, and stress has been huge, with extremely important reports in most classes.
Sorry it was so long, but is this depression or just stress? I need to know.
And also, I've tried telling my mom, but it seems she refuses to believe her "perfect little baby" has anything wrong.