Hey! Thanks for all your posts, Im sorry i havent been in touch since, things have been bad for me lately, still are really.
I still havent been to counseling, still cant bring myself to doing it!
Im not 100% sure that i know the reason im depressed, im just pressumin it is after reading up about
depression and as i have constant nightmares about
Im worried about
gettin help because im worried about
what people will think, what the counsilor will think. Im scared to tell anyone face to face, i get upset when i have to talk or type about
it and id just make a show of meself! And i think, actually talking about
it will make it all real some how - am i being stupid??
I havent eaten for 2 weeks more or less and the stomach cramps are unberable, sometimes i can hardley move! But the thought of eating makes me feel even more ill.
Els, the weather at the moment is freezing but sunny, and yes i walk alot, i walk to and from work everyday. If im feeling bad i take a long walk home, it does help yes, but sometimes well most times i am so tempted to just keep walking and not come home. Monday night i disappeared for 3 hours after work but eventually came home because i felt guilty about
not sayin bye to anyone, at least when i do other things i leave notes.
At the moment im feeling the worse iv ever felt. i was clean from selfharming for 2 weeks but started again lastnight. I managed to finally tell my cousin about
that part a couple of weeks ago, but she took it bad, turned nasty and is now refusin to talk to me, so i guess i wont even bother to attempt to tell anyone else in the family!
Anyway thanks again for all your posts .. and sorry, some of my post is in txt language, iv tried not to use it!