Right , I've seen my doc and she gave me an SSRI , citalopram (hydrobromide) 20mg to take one each morning - or if it makes me too tired to take at night , this is supposed to help with depression but should also calm my anxiety.
I asked her if it was going to make me feel quite relaxed , and explained to her that I had taken some meds for pain and flipped for a bit because I was "slipping" into a relaxed state. She said that it was because I wasn't used to being relaxed and I could do with taking more of these meds , and that she could probably do with some herself!! (before you start thinking she is reckless I KNOW she was joking and she was trying to make the app. easier on me , and also taking the P cos she knows I worry about everything).
She said there would be side effects which would make me feel worse to begin with but if I can get through the first 10 days they will ease and I should see a difference in the way I feel. *fingers crossed*
She wonders about the mental health nurse saying that he sees BP in me , as she can't , but that the amount of things I have been through in my life alone would make me the way I am. Although in the same breath she said that she has only seen me when I'm depressed , as that is the time I need help. I'm just gonna have to see when I go for counselling. Whatever it is I'm just glad that something is being done now. I know it won't get better over night but I think I will be able to rest a little easier now.
Oh and a message to BPers who might be on this board - whether it turns out I have or haven't got BP I will still be modding the BP board , I will be there for you , so no worrie there.
I will keep posting to let you know how the meds are and what side effects (if any) I get. I will be going back to docs on 3/16 to check up on my progress.
Take care everyone , wish me luck lol!