alot of you have not only been violated in every way imaginable, but you have also been rejected by the very people who are supposed to love you no matter what.
My heart breaks for you. I told my husband about my abuse while we were dating. I can't imagine having him react the way some of your husbands have. Unbelievable!, but I DO believe you when you say that they have treated you as if it was your fault. We were young innocent children who had NO control over our situation!
Trust is a huge issue. When you've been hurt time after time it is extremely hard to let some one in. Especially in a sexual relationship. That is the most intimate relationship you can have. You don't get any more vunurable than being intimate with your partner. Sometimes when you are dealing with the really hard things its good to take a break from sex so you can figure things out. Of course, you partner needs to be in like mind with you on that subject. And if He really loves you, he will do what ever it takes for healing to take place.
dx: fibromyalgia, IBS-C,Myofacial Pain Syndrome, Chronic Headaches, hypothyroidism,anemia, insomnia,mild depression.
Clonazapam .25mgs, Oxy IR 2.5-3xs/day 5 mgs at bedtime, Synthroid, Zopiclone, flexeril or baclafen, L-tryptophan
Supplements: Licorcise extract, Seriphos, professional vit/mineral, magnesium/malic acid, B#5, probiotic, Ester C, P5P[B6 supplement]
Daughter Jerica 17, Dx: Crohn's, Imuran 150 mgs, amitriptyline 20mgs, lactaid pills, calcium 1000 mgs/day. Forvia, waiting for first Remicade infusion
Husband with treatment resistant depression Effexor-900mgs