How do I deal with this........

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 3/22/2007 5:37 AM (GMT -6)   
I have a beautiful DD and a wonderful partner, not sure for how much longer but......I went through a hell of a DIVORCE and it tore me down so emotionally plus my abusive childhood.
I am so sad, angry, lost and confused. My DP is a military man, we realized after alot of debate and trying there is nothing I can do to be with him. NOTHING, he wont and cant get out of the military, he has been in WAY TOO LONG and I can not leave my DD with her DAD. SO.....Where does that leave us, BROKEN EMPTY HEARTS and a tough decision.
Lately all we do is fight and it really started when we started to realize that we were going to be faced with not being together anymore due to our circumstances.
I have never been so in love, secure, loved, comfortable in my life. This man is my heart, soul and everything to inlcude my best friend.
The pain I am going through right now is so unbearable, I am not sure how to deal with anything.
I went from being molested by a step-dad, to mom staying with this man, to an alcholic family to a VERY LONG HARD divorce. I deserve happiness and I found him and I personally thought I found it. I felt better than I am in SO MANY YEARS.
My DD is my rock, if it wasnt for her.....Well Im not sure how I would deal in general....

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 3/22/2007 6:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Have you seen your Gp? or a councillor, I kind of know how you feel,my situation isn't half as bad as yours but my relationship seems to slightly be suffering (in my eyes anyway) due to my depression etc. I just fel so empty towards m poor bf I am sick of this! Anyway I would try telling your GP and getting or changing meds if you are already on them?? Im so sorry about your pain just now.

Best Wishes


Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 3/22/2007 6:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi IBS, Welcome to Healing Well.  I can relate to alot of what your saying here.  I was molested by my stepfather for many years as a small child.  Thought I found a good guy and stayed with him for 12 years which ended up in divorce after 5 years of marriage...very bad bitter divorce.  Oh, I could go on and on but I wont as it would take forever and this isnt about me...its about you.
It always does seem that life throws these huge rocks in our way to test to see if we are going to bend or break.  After all you have gone though so far I would say that your one who is going to bend and find your way to make things work.  This guy may be in the military and you cant be with him right now like you want to be but it doesnt mean that you cant have a relationship with him.  If this man is really your true heart and soul like you state then he will make every effort to work with you on making you feel secure with a long distance relationship until you too can be together like you want to be.  There are many people and families that are seperated from each other right now...I know you know that, it doesnt last forever.  So, you both need to communicate what your willing to do for the sake of each other, and see where that takes you.
I wish you all the best of luck in this :-)

Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 3/22/2007 6:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Ibs Frog
Welcome to the board,you are going to find that there are alot of great people with great advice on here.
Wow,that is very heartbreaking and I am very sorry that you are having to go through this.

Relationships are tough,and add in the long distance and it is very tough.
Is this something that could happen in a few years? Or is he saying there is just no way?
I am a firm believer that love always finds a way.
Just don't give up hope yet,and make sure that you are getting what you need at this point.

Stay strong
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

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