It is completely normal to feel the way you are.
For some reason when depression hits hard it seems as though we push the ones and the things we love away.
It is almost like we are punishing ourselves when we feel good about
something because we think we do not deserve it.
I pushed alot of people away when my depression hit hard and to this day I wish I would have went to the doctor right away.
You can go on. Answers is something that we can only give you advice on.
Jordan is right, you need to tell the doctor everything at this point. That is the only way they are going to be able to treat you correctly.
Please stay strong and keep us posted.
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