Hi Queenlove33, welcome to healing well forum we are most happy to have you join us here. I am so sorry that you are made to feel this way. I think that for females weight is a huge issue, I know it is for me and something that I struggle with everyday. Who is it that makes you feel that you need to be "thin" to fit in?
I had an eating disorder when I was a teenager in high school of course looking back now I can see that I wasnt over weight then. I took many years to over come that. When I was 28 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and put on several differant medications for that. Well, the medications and I guess just being sick in general made me gain weight...about 50 pounds or so. My husband didnt like the weight gain at all and begain to call me names like "porkchop" and other names he thought was "cutsie"...I did not. Needless to say, I am divorced now 33 yrs old and have shed most of that weight except for the last 15 pounds or so that just wont come off. But with the comments that my ex said to me all the time about my weight really tore down my self confidence and self esteem.
My mom who also has severe heart problems and knee problems had to have gastric bypass surgery 4 years ago to lose her weight. She lost a total of 220 pounds and now she is like a totally differant person then she was before. She is so active and goes to the gym everyday, drags me with her, and eats right and keeps up with it.
I guess I am just saying all this to show that I can so relate to weight issues and the psychology/thought processes behind it. I do hope that you post again and tell us more about what is going on. Healing Well is a safe place for you to express your feelings and everyone is so very supportive here. Take care