I struggled with the subject line here because I really need to get this out.
On Monday my b/f picked me up from work and basically just reamed me all of the way home. Let's see,I need to figure out how to make more money,I suck because he has to wait a whole 10 minutes before I could leave work.
My kids are coming 2 weekends in row and that stresses him out because then I spend more money ect ect.
By the time we got home I was bawling and ready to pack my bags and leave. I told him that if I wanted someone to drag me down then I would have stayed with my ex-husband.
Well, then he started saying sorry and sucking up...saying he is just stressed right now and he does not know why he is taking it out on me.
I, at that point wanted nothing to do with him. I remained civil for the rest of the night ,but would not allow him to cuddle and all of that crap.
So, in the morning I woke up and decided that I would get a 2nd job, and buy a cheap car so he is not taking me back and forth to work (we had a fire and lost both cars in Jan and have only purchased one for now).
Well that made problems too,because if I get a 2nd job it will interfere with going to the lake every weekend in the summer and we will have no life. Ok, so I can't please him at this point.
Then my 16 yr old son has decided to act like his dad and be mean to his sister,and call me and be a jerk because he wants to come this weekend by himself and does not want her there. I told him too bad because it is Easter weekend and I want them both there. Now he refuses to come..
Last night I got home from work and decided to have a couple glasses of wine and listen to my music as I clean house and do laundry. When I am stressed I clean...
Well since I was already ticked off,and I had decided that all of the men in my life suck,I decided to finish the wine basically.
I turned the radio up a little bit for a song I liked and that set him off. (keep in mind there are many nights that he decides to have some beers and I go to bed just to be woken up by him playing his guitar and turning it up loud,but I do not say a word because I know it is his way of relaxing).
By the time it was all said and done,I was pouring out my heart and letting him know what I had been holding back for 6 months. Whew..... I don't know why I do that. I just let things build up because I hate to fight,so if something is bothering me I just don't say anything. Then I just blow.
I am not sure if we are even talking at this point because I made dinner and just went to bed.
He needed to hear the things that I said,so I am not sorry about
that. I am sorry that it took a couple glasses of "guts" in order to get the things out,and he heard about
everything that I was mad about
within an hour...YIKES.
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