Hi Michele -
Thanks so much for your understanding. It's greatly appreciated. It's always nice to hear that someone else knows where I'm coming from. I find great comfort in that, so again thank you.
Hi Shy -
I actually have an appointment next week and we've been working on a lot of different stuff over the past 9 months or so with my therapist. At first, she was helping me with anxiety, but my depression has taken more of a hold lately so we've been focusing in on that instead. I realize that sometimes meds can take upwards or 4 weeks or more to take effect, but the thing is - I've been on this stuff for about 4 weeks now and it was doing wonders for me, but it doesn't seem to have any effect now which is extremely frustrating, since not that long ago I was singing to the radio, jumping out of bed to check on my little seedlings I have scattered throughout my apartment, doing things that give me simple pleasure like eating chocolate and taking bubble baths when the mood stuck. But, now each of my limbs feels like they weigh 100 pounds each, my outlook on life is dark, and my ability to care about anything seems to have evaporated.
There are a lot of things that have contributed to my depression. My mom got sick, then my dad, then I got a new job and moved, I haven't made any new friends in this city, it's much more family focused or elderly than young professionals, which is the category I fall into. The last relationship I was in ended badly and I just feel so alone and isolated. I tend to be a "social butterfly" according to my Mom, but when I'm down I'm too afraid to talk to people and my words just come out all wrong anyways.
Right now, I feel like I'm face down in a ditch and I can't seem to roll over and pull my face out of the mud.