Hi Twiggy, it is good to see you posting again
sometimes it does help just to vent alittle. I dont know....it sounds like you have a lot of things going on, and a lot of stressors in your life. You mentioned issues from the past bothering you and having flashbacks...that sounds a lot like post traumatic stress disorder. Have you ever been told that you may have this? I have this same issue myself and it is so hard to deal with there isnt any medication to make it go away or any better. Counseling and learning how to face and deal with those past issues is the key to making PTSD manageable for those that have it. It in no way is easy but I imagine that whatever you survived so long ago has made you a stronger person weither you realize it or not and you would be able to deal with those issues in your own time.
I dont know what meds your taking or how long you have been on them but if your having shaking and crying episodes then it would be a good idea to let your doctor know this. You could always tell him that your leary of an med adjustment.
Please do keep posting and letting us know how your doing...we are always here for you.