Hello…thanks you all for your replies, I really appreciate it. I definitely think it helps to talk about these things, even if it is on a message board. I don’t really have anyone to talk about these issues that I know.
It sounds to me that you are going through a major life change right now. Most of it could be called growing up...sometimes after college people go their different ways. It does not mean they don't want to be friends with you they are just trying to make their own paths and sometimes it really consumes your whole life.
Perhaps you are right here; it is a difficult time after you graduate and now alone in the big bad world. I think my problem goes further than that though – I never really had many friends growing up, even in high school. It wasn’t as bad when I went to college, I has some friends, but at the same time not too many. Most of these were friendships were on an individual basis; in other words, I never really have a large circle of friends, I meet one friend one day and the other the next day.
Would you say it is because you feel alone? A lot of mine is brought on by a feeling of being alone. Since I graduated from high school I do not talk to anyone that I graduated with. It is sad because now all i do it work all the time and really don’t get out and have any fun. My life is predictable and dull. Really the only answer for me is to keep my mind busy. If I stay busy then I don’t have time to think about being down. But i do miss the fun times, but I guess its part of growing up.
I would agree with the first part of this. Since college I have felt quite alone and isolated, as a result, it is also predictable and dull. I find it difficult to keep my mind busy; sometimes when I’m working I have this painful aching feeling like I’m trapped inside a prison or something. In other words, I can’t escape this situation; I’m lost and can’t find the exit door to escape. I used to listen to music, read or watch movies – this used to keep my mind occupied. But recently I can’t enjoy these things as much because I too unhappy to be entertained by them. It seems like material pleasures are not the true source of happiness.
Perhaps you can find a group or something that has similar interests to you. Such as maybe taking a salsa dance course if your into that kind of thing...or maybe joining a local gym. Getting out and doing some kind of physical activity hopefully will help boost your self confidence and help you to meet other people.
I have got proactive in this area…I attend a gym a few times a week; I am also taking a night class one night per week. I started this four months ago, I agree it does help, but at the same time I am a little disappointed as I still haven’t made any friends. For instance, at the night course there are only six other people taking the course, the other five are in there 50’s and 60’s so we don’t have much in common – on a positive note, the lecturer is in her early thirties. I get on okay with these people, but we don’t end up hanging out after class or on weekends.
Just to let you know that I am a bit shy, but I don’t have any problem talking to people. I am quite talkative and will usually talk to anyone. I would admit that I wouldn’t be too courage’s approaching strangers and starting a conversation, but if it was the other way or mutual I would be okay. What is quite frustrating is that some people seem less social able with less to say than me, and still end up with more friends. It’s like I’m one of these people who can get on okay with everyone, but still end up having no friends.
Oh, it’s getting late, nearly time for bed. Gotta head now; again, thanks all for your comments