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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 4/16/2007 2:27 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm Catherine, but ppl call me Cat and am 18.  I haven't been diagnosed with clinical depression yet, but my counselor has told me to go to my family doctor immediatly (which will be this thursday) to be diagnosed and possibly given a light antidepressant.  Ive been suffering from symptoms of depression for 4 yrs, but i never really did anything about it.  I could manage it most of the time..minus the couple months i had to take of school each yr.  But a few weeks not sure if im allowed to write it in here.. but lets just say i ended up in a hospital (not voluntary).   Thats why i started to see a counselor. 
I am so greatful to finally get help and to have a little ounce of hope in me, but the fear that goes a long with that is unbearable.  Im scared about sooo many things.  First of all..  starting to take medication.  Im scared that i'll lose a part of me if i start taking antidepressants.  I think about who i was before my depression.. I dont want to lose that...Second of all... im second guessing the idea of relying on medication to make me happy/ I mean..does it really have to come to this?  And im scared to death of the side effects.  Ive read stuff on here and ive done my own research.  I already have unbearable fatigue as it is... Thats why i have to miss school.  Will antidepressants take this away..or cause it to be worse?  Thats my biggest concern...and if antidepressants don't help that i dont think i want to risk the pain of goin on that medication.    THe emotional and physical pain i go through now is very bad as it is, which is why its weird for me to second guess my treatment.  Did anyone else have these feelings when starting medication?  I cant have insomnia ... its hard enough already for me to go to school and im in grade 12  with 4 of the hardest subjects u can possibly take.  I cannot afford to miss any school.  I dont want to be dependent on a drug for my whole life.  Ughh.
I don't know how i feel anymore.. i want to get better... yet .. i wish this wasnt the way.
Thats why i suppose its easier just to go to bed at night wishing u wouldnt wake up in the morning.  If only it was that easy.  
Im also in the worst stage of a burn out right now... and thats obviously not helpin my depression issues.  I shouldnt have this stress on me about treatment.  it should be a relief. confused    Someone help!

New Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 4/16/2007 2:44 PM (GMT -6)   
hi cat, im 18 aswell. and it is horrible to feel this way. i was in denial for ages before my partner forced me to go to the doctors and i'll tell you what i gets easier from there. not as easy6 as you want it but at least its that little bit less pressure off your shoulders. im on a anti depressant called fluoxetine. i think this is a mild drug. i didnt get any side effects with mine but every one is different. the doctor will ask you questions and then he'll give you the anti depressant he thinks that will suit you. ive you find out its not working within a few weeks to a month then go back and he'll change it. its just finding the right one. the doctor will do as much as he can to make sure your not on the for the rest of your life. also i am starting yoga and apprently thats a really good way to unwind. choose something you really enjoy and let that time to be your wind down hour on something. lots of exercise is good as it lets a chemical we lack into our brains. please keep me posted i know exactly what your going through. natalie xxx

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/16/2007 11:39 PM (GMT -6)   

I'm 16, and I feel your frustration with meds and depression I am exactly like you are. I kept thinking what else I could do instead of going to see a professional, but it just got worse and worse.I'm glad you got an appt. with your doc. I've been taking meds for a couple of weeks now and it really has helped with depression minus the side effects that I'm having right now. I've been feeling really tired everyday and I've had even more anxiety eventhough the meds that I'm taking are supposed to treat anxiety and depression. It's your decision whether you take meds or not. There are a lot of different things to help depression instead of meds, but you can talk that over with your doc.

Also about the meds, I don't think I've had anything "missing" from me before I became like this, but if you look at it, everything in life will change you no matter how hard you try to fight against it. Change can be good or bad, but it is enivitable. Keep your head held high,

~"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." ~Helen Keller

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 4/17/2007 9:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Cat, The decision to start on an antidepressant can be very difficult and I know the biggest stress is that you dont know how your going to adjust or react to the medication.  There are many differant things you can read about this topic on the internet when doing research and it can be frightening and confusing when you come across some of those things that give us mixed messages.
The fact is that Depression is a medical illness caused by low Serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine levels in our brains.  Antidepressants restore these levels to a normal balance to help us function on a daily basis.  Some medications work better for us then others and yes sometimes they have to be adjusted or totally changed but as long as you work with your doctor on it then you are taking charge of your mental health. 
There are many people who are able to go without medications and function very well.  I havent been one of those lucky people...I could stop my antidepressant for maybe a year then be right back to extremely depressed and have to go right back to meds again.  I have resigned myself to the fact that I will need to be on them for the duration...Living with major depression I just cant manage it on my own without them.
Anyhow, here is a really good link on depression from the national institute of mental health

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