Well just the usual really but I feel like its never going to go, I feel so teary, I went out with my boyfriends sis and all night although I enjoyed myself at times, I felt really teary and wasn't really enjoying myself. It can flutter from time to time, also I felt because she is his sis, I got that same short of breath feeling I do with him :S That feeling is really prominent a lot just now.
What really confuses me is though.. last night he went out with his footall team. Which is fair enough, as we obviously all have to get out, but it was like I missed him all night and in a way couldn't wait for him to get home! I felt that sort of surge of love for him, and as I was stayingat his house there was potos spralled of him everywhere and I couldn't help but smile. I know this miht sound cheesy to a lot of people but I'm just trying to show the differences I feel.
He ended up geting home a bit later than he had said he would due to a hold up with taxis, but I couldn't sleep all night for worrying washe with another girl? Had he been hurt? Had something happened and hed been arrested, silly I know but they were all going through myhead as to why he wasn't home,
when he did get in he came staright up to bed and gave me a cuddle, but I was having none of it, I went CRAZY at him, and when I woke up this morning it all seemed a blur like Id went into some sort of trance and went mental. I hate feelinglike this, but I can't help being like this, or feeling how I do.
I have no control over it atall. I don't know how to stop or conquer it, I think that is why I feel so bad.
Is all this really depression or do I just hate everyone I used to love, more so the boy who treats me like a princessand up until I started feeling this way, adored, as I had the best boy in the world?
Am I just a freak, or what the hell as my life become?? It is not normal. Everyday feels like I'm waiting for something to happen, to be honest its like I'm looking in on my life waiting for it to go back to normal, then I can return
But...it never happens..
Sorry for the rant :(
** Don't Compare Your Insides With Everyone Elses Outsides **