Welcome to the forum,I am really glad that you found us,and I think you will see there are alot of great people here.
I too went through the phase of not having a job and being in deep depression,it took alot out of me,and I still can't believe I am better.
You can't hold on to someone that does not want to be with you. It is not healthy for either person quite frankly. And at some point you need to move on. Easier said than done I know.
A little secret, we women for some reason try to fix the man. I don't know why we do it,maybe it is the motherly instincts. But,it sounds like she saw through you and saw the potential, but the long distance thing was not enough for her. You really can't blame her for that part,but she gave up.
Now is the time to show her what she is missing.
Try going to a temp agency,something to get you out of the house,away from the computer and some cash in your pocket.
After that,then going to a doctor and telling them what is going on.
When I first started going to the doctor for my depression,she told me that in order to get better I had to change my environment. I live for those words now. Because those words ran through my mind alot,and I figured out that my abusive husband of 13 years was a bad environment and I left.
Your environment is this it sounds like: sitting at home all day being depressed and addicted to the internet. You are losing contact with the outside world,and when you finally look up from the computer the depression hits harder because you have nothing to look forward to the next day. Am I right?
It is time to get back on your feet.
Even if you only find a part time job for now,something that gets your mind clear.
I want to be able to see a post from you in the future about
a job,and you starting to feel better.....
Please keep us posted.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexiawww.healingwell.com/donate
"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"