Ok hon...listen to me for a second...take a deep deep breath.
I was married for 13 years to a man that sounds somewhat like your husband. The big difference is mine decided to use me as his personal punching bag to get what he wanted. Sex,not buying the kids their extra treats at the store,the house not being completely spotless after I had worked a 10 hr day..you name it.
I could not go anywhere without him either following me or calling. If I took the kids to my mom's he was calling within 10 minutes of us arriving. Go to work,he would call me numerous times throughout the day.
He told me I would never make it without him,no one would want me....and he would take my kids and run.
I did not eat,I was popping anti depressants left and right just to get through the day.
My family had no idea how he really was,and basically was too worried about
how my divorce would affect their lives.
I finally had enough one morning,woke up..made his coffee and set it in front of him. Told him I was leaving at that was that.
It has been 6 years since I left that man,and I have never been happier or healthier.
My kids were older,but I still thought that I had hidden all of the bad things from them. I didn't. My daughter was only 13 at the time,and she looked at me while we were driving to the store to get boxes and said "mom,about
time you did this". Imagine my shock.
Your kids feel the stress,they hear the fights..they lay in bed wondering what is going to happen. They wish for better days.
It is not a healthy environment for them. Especially sons. To see their dad treat their mom like that? What kind of role model is that?
If he is looking at divorce..then let him. Let him be the one that shovels the money for the lawyers.
But,before he does that....you need to sit down and write EVERYTHING down that he has ever said or done to you that is not right...why? because when the time comes to tell someone then you will probably forget..mostly due to nerves.
Next,sit down and write up a basic plan on what you are going to do when it happens. You will need a temporary place to live for a few months...this is not the time to be vain,lean on your family. They will be there for you.
You have a job so you are ok with that..money will be tight for a few months but you will learn how to overcome that.
Make him pay his dues...if he carries the health insurance for the kids,make sure it is in the settlement that he continues to do just that. Make him pay the full amount that your state recommends of child support.
Now....... remember it is time to look out for you and your kids. He is on his own.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.www.healingwell.com/donatewww.myspace.com/ShynSassy315
"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"