Posted 5/18/2007 1:52 AM (GMT -6)
Yes, it is what like 230 in the morning and here I am feeling really bad. My sister is getting ready to have a biopsy done on her brain so this is kind of my link to her schedule for Duke. I was glad to see a note from you. It actually made me smile, not much does these days as I have way to many nights like this one.
Sorry it is raining where ever you are but you know that you dont always need to go a hundred miles an hour! I used to tell someone that all the time in hopes that I could get some extra time with him!
Anyway, I read your post and gave it great thought. I am speechless for now because there are so many things that I can relate to with you. I however, will NEVER give up on the one that loved and still do coming back. No matter what anyone says. I love him so much and miss him more every day that if I would ever be in a relationship with anyone (like that will happen) if he would come back, I would never think twice about making things right because whether or not he wants to hear it there are things that he has no idea that I have gone through with the issues that tore us apart. I will take responsibility for what happened but there is so much more to it. I know that I dont deserve to have a man like him in my life because I am not worthy of what I had with him. I cant go on, I cant feel, I am like stone, all I do is cry. I guess the biggest thing for me is this, we had a love that noone but the 2%'s have in this whole world. There are people that have not even half the love that normal people have and can get through trials. All I know is that I have learned a thousand times over what I needed to learn and I seek help every day for reasons.
I know that security was an issue for me and somehow I lost that when in my eyes I became a secret to everyone in his life. It is hard to explain but I sent a letter trying to explain how I felt. There is not a second in the day when I dont think of him and cry. I mean really cry!!
I wont ramble because I have to go to bed I should have been there hours ago but I will say this, if this wonderful man ever decides that I am worthy of another chance,,,,,I would never and I mean NEVER give up on what I know in my heart is what God intented me to have. If that never happens then I will live every day for the rest of my life going through life with meaningless emotions and with an empty soul. Maybe that is what I deserve.
Thanks for listening to me.
waiting on better dayz..........
" We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".