I'm So Sensitive

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 5/18/2007 3:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Why is it that for a while there, I have been feeling great about everything, but still not me.
And then the last few days I've fallen back down and hit the ground, and hate everyone and everything.
I think everyone is against me and hates/ fallen out with me for no apparent reason...but I can't help feeling like this.
I was crying last night for no apparant reason, I just burst into tears.
I keep thinking back to my childhood, when we had a rough time with my Father. I keep thinking back to when my mum would try her best to look after us on £50 a week, and we'd be full of pride when she'd send us to school on the first day of term in brand new clothes. She always managed. I don't know why I keep thinking back to these things at the moment as I never had done before, but they really hit a nerve and make me feel really sad.
Also every little thing people say to me offesively. Even if they are kidding on.
Like yesterday I was at work and my boss said to me not to do any mail matches as she wanted another member of staff who works part time to do them.
I instantly though Oh my god, what have I done, why doesn't she want me to do them, shes being horrible, oh I feel upset and blaaaah. Later on I said to her about it and she just said that she didn't want me run off my feet, and due to there being a lot of them to be done, the other member of staff could do them! Nothing atall of what I'd though the reasons why!
(Am I stupid feeling like this at 18 years old)
oh well here goes another day...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 5/18/2007 6:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Scotsgal
I was wondering how you were doing.
So sorry things are not even yet.
I too take offense to what people say sometimes,not sure why. Guess it might be my low self esteem.

Please stay strong and keep us posted.

Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2004
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 5/18/2007 11:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Of course you're not stupid. You're doing what's called "mind-reading", and i truly doubt that you are telepathic. We must learn to spot when we're mind-reading and to stop doing it.
In Cognitive Therapy (look up Aaron Beck), they teach you to recognize that first negative thought you have, and try to think of a different possible thought.
Like if somebody yells at you or says something mean for no reason, and you think "what did i do wrong?" or "how come people don't like me?" Is it possible that person is having a bad day? Is it possible that he/she had a fight or just broke up with their boyfriend/girlfriend? Maybe they had a cheque bounce at the bank. You see what i mean? These are things that happen everyday. Can happen to anybody.
It takes practice (most things do), but it really does work and it will completely change your day. Instead of feeling bad about me, i began to feel sympathy for others and what they might be going thru.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 5/18/2007 11:40 PM (GMT -6)   
sad  Scotsgal~
I am sorry that you are feeling so bad.  I guess I can relate with you because I have been feeling the way you do for several months more.  It is an incredibly horrible feeling.  I not sure how it affects you but I know for me it makes me feel like I am a wall of stone.  I have noticed I have no emotion no feelings and could care less for everyone around me except my son.  I hate the way I feel it is the most horrible feeling in the world.  I have to honestly say that I never in my life have ever felt this way.  I do truly "hate" people.  I have noticed too that my hatred is actually more towards men.  The way they gauk and try to be cool, they have no idea that I think they look like idiots.  I dont know why I feel like this.
I guess that I know that I am an attractive woman but you know I am more than that I have a heart and soul.  Now a days, people just dont have the same want and need to be loved.  It is all about how "hot" someone is or how "rich" they are or it is about what they can offer you materially. 
Scotsgal, I know I am rambling, I guess what I am saying is that I know exactly how you feel.  In the past when I had experienced agitation(not anything like now) they were so ready to prescribe antipsychotic meds like Haldol.  I guess when you feel agitated they just will give you something to make you a zombie.  It is funny because I am sitting here thinking i would probably welcome that "numb" feeling.
Just know that you are not alone.
"Faith is knowing you're in control
when your life is falling apart,
Faith is in that quiet assurance
I feel deep within my heart".

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