Why is it that for a while there, I have been feeling great about
everything, but still not me.
And then the last few days I've fallen back down and hit the ground, and hate everyone and everything.
I think everyone is against me and hates/ fallen out with me for no apparent reason...but I can't help feeling like this.
I was crying last night for no apparant reason, I just burst into tears.
I keep thinking back to my childhood, when we had a rough time with my Father. I keep thinking back to when my mum would try her best to look after us on £50 a week, and we'd be full of pride when she'd send us to school on the first day of term in brand new clothes. She always managed. I don't know why I keep thinking back to these things at the moment as I never had done before, but they really hit a nerve and make me feel really sad.
Also every little thing people say to me offesively. Even if they are kidding on.
Like yesterday I was at work and my boss said to me not to do any mail matches as she wanted another member of staff who works part time to do them.
I instantly though Oh my god, what have I done, why doesn't she want me to do them, shes being horrible, oh I feel upset and blaaaah. Later on I said to her about it and she just said that she didn't want me run off my feet, and due to there being a lot of them to be done, the other member of staff could do them! Nothing atall of what I'd though the reasons why!
(Am I stupid feeling like this at 18 years old)
oh well here goes another day...