to blow my stack!!!
My anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds (Lexepro, Klonopin, Wellbutrin) are just not doing the trick. I suffer from bad migraines (sometimes 2/3 a week) and they are driving me crazy. My abortive medication only works part of the time, so I end up at the ER, sometimes only a few days apart.
Last night, I had to go with another severe migraine. Since it usually takes hours to be seen by the doctor, my Dad dropped me off and went home to grab some dinner. I ended up seeing the doctor pretty quickly, before my Dad got back. I had seen this Dr. before, and he recognized me. He barely examined me, and told me he wouldn't treat me with the only medications that work for me (narcotic pain medication and anti-nausea medication). He said that was not the appropriate treatment and he wouldn't do it. He went and checked my records, then came back and told me I was abusing the system, because I came to the ER too often. He said I was addicted to the narcotics. He treated me horribly, and wouldn't listen to me when I tried to give him my history of all the meds that I've tried and failed to work, the specialists that I've seen, just nothing. He sent in a nurse with a shot containing a mild non-narcotic pain med and something for nausea. She even came in with my discharge paperwork already filled out. Normally, you have to stay 20-30 minutes to make sure you don't a reaction, then they check your vitals before they allow you to leave. Not last night, as I was told that I could leave immediately. To add insult to injury, the doctor just wrote "headache" not "migraine" on the form, and also wrote that I had "drug-seeking behaviour"!!! I was livid.
Of course, the meds didn't work. I slept for a couple of hours, and my migraine was back. I used my abortive again and spent most of the night fighting the migraine. I felt rotten all day and fluctuated between being anxious and stressed out and being violently angry. To top it all off, my Mother gave me a hard time on the phone, not believing me about the list of migraine preventative medications I've taken over the years. I reminded her that I didn't live here for a good fifteen years, and have the medical records to back it up. What possible reason would I have to exaggerate the number of preventative medications I've gone through? Now the only way I'm going to shut her up and prove her wrong is to go through all my records and make a list of what I took and when. WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!!! It's bad enough when the stupid doctor treats you like a "faker", but when your own mother doubts your honesty...geez, I JUST WANT TO THROW THINGS!!
Thus, leading me back to my original point that my other meds aren't doing jack to mellow me out. I'm so depressed and tired of all this, I just want to crawl in a hole and die.
When will the pain end...
"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."