Welcome to healing well mocca, we are happy to have you join us here. I am sorry...depression effects not only the person who has it but everyone around them also. Most times we who are depressed dont realize how difficult it is for our loved ones.
On the bright side your wife has started an antidepressant which is hopeful. It usually does take anywhere from 4-6 weeks for the medication to reach its full effect in a person's system. Intimacy I think is one of the biggest things that suffer in a relationship when you have someone who is depressed. I know for me it was the very last thing I wanted to think about. Hopefully once the medication has started to work for her this will get better.
Having said all that, if I were in your place I would sit her down and have a serious discussion on how she has been treating you...depression or not. There is no reason for you to have to walk on eggshells in your own home and have to worry about what her responses may be to something you say or not.
Please know you are most welcome to post here...I am sure you will get many responses from our other members. I hope you find this site informational and supportive for you. Take care