depressed wife

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New Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/28/2007 10:56 PM (GMT -7)   
help.dont know where to start, so many feelings and emotions.i walk on eggshells,there is no intimacy, even on good days she gets mad at me for something i havent said yet,but because i may say it later.she has been on wellbutrin for 3 weeks along with counsiling she has used wellbutrin before, i dont think it is working for her,but then again i dont know how long it takes to start to take the edge off...too much to say,need to clear my head.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 5/29/2007 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   

Welcome to healing well mocca, we are happy to have you join us here.  I am sorry...depression effects not only the person who has it but everyone around them also.  Most times we who are depressed dont realize how difficult it is for our loved ones.

On the bright side your wife has started an antidepressant which is hopeful.  It usually does take anywhere from 4-6 weeks for the medication to reach its full effect in a person's system.  Intimacy I think is one of the biggest things that suffer in a relationship when you have someone who is depressed.  I know for me it was the very last thing I wanted to think about.  Hopefully once the medication has started to work for her this will get better.

Having said all that, if I were in your place I would sit her down and have a serious discussion on how she has been treating you...depression or not.  There is no reason for you to have to walk on eggshells in your own home and have to worry about what her responses may be to something you say or not. 

Please know you are most welcome to post here...I am sure you will get many responses from our other members.  I hope you find this site informational and supportive for you.  Take care

Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 5/29/2007 9:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi ya Mocca.  You are living in my shoes.  My wife of 3 yrs, is on depression pills also.  None seem to work.  SHe went to pshy. to day.  Put her on new drugs and sleeping pills.  I to walk on egg shells.  She gets made at just about everything.  The other night she told me that she wanted to leave me. She did not want to put me threw all of this.  It would be alot easier for me to be single again.   Butt, it is not the right thing to do. I told her We will get threw this together.   The days when she is so down i just want to run and never look back.  I do not understand the disease, so that is why we have so many arguements, over small things.  Small to me that is.   Like whipping toothepaste on the wash rag.   I too am without intimacy.  Which is hard on me being only married 3 yrs.  The sex started out good but, after a couple of months being married it went south.  My wife has been in the hopital before for her depression.  It did not help.  I want her to go back in but, she refuses to.  I told her that i am affraid to do things in the house that will anger her.  and that is not right. it is my place too.  so i have been and she gets mad.  i do not do things to make her angry, shejust chooses to.  Yes we try to talk but, that does not go very far.  We even tried marriage counseling.   What we do know is she has a terrible time with her past.  She thinks she was a lousey mother.  I try and tell her to deal with her past and let go.  It is easy for me butt, not her.  She has a son that is bipolar and she blames herself.  She has had 3 failed marriages. I told her when we first got married that we would get a new house.  we are living in the one that i was living in before our marriage.  I will not get a new house i told her, because all we do is fight.  i told her we will someday if all this argueing STOPS.  Pretty simple to me.  it would be so easy for me to let go, but i am not the one with the crappy disease.   I am gonna be here for her as long as i can handle this disease.  I want us to be happy again.  man i could ramble for a few hours.  I just want to say hang in there.   she did not choose to be this way. 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 5/30/2007 5:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to the forum. Dealing with depression is very takes its toll on everyone it seems.
I hope that she does well with her meds,and you just need to remember that for some reason we seem to take things out on the ones that we love. I am not sure why we do this,but we do.

Hang in there and stay strong

Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.

"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"

New Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/4/2007 5:22 PM (GMT -7)   
i could also ramble for hours ,but i type slow.rember that running away is a very easy way out but it takes a real man to stick it out, i know it sucks sometimes but she loves you as much as you love her even though she may not show need to stay strong for you because it is easy for you to start to follow down the same depression path.i say to myself everyday, sickness and in health...this is the sickness part,and i will always say i do!...this is what i tell myself everyday and it seems to help...or at least i tell myself i havent been on for a while had a busy week but i wish the best 4 everyone and i will  check back everynite because this is nice and helps me to be strong ..thank everyone 4 the replies and advice,hopefully i can help someone someday....

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 6/6/2007 3:58 AM (GMT -7)   
hey ya Mocca.  A would not be running from her. you know the saying.  Missery Loves comfort.  i would be running for my own sanity.  i do love her dearly.  she has so many issues from the past that she will not or won't deal with.  first and formost is she thinks she was such a terrible mother.  which i do not understand.  i keep telling her to see a psy. to talk about it and let it go.  i know it is easier said then done.  i will be back later to finish this.  i have to get my butt to work.  tc. redface
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