I have fell back into my deep hole again. I was feeling ok for a while, nowhere near the 'old me' but I was better than before. Now I feel like this:....
I don't want to get up in the morning. I am constantly tired. I despise going to work.
I continually tell myself I hate my family.
They havn't done anything wrong!
My poor bf gets the brunt of it all. He does one small thing and I go on a rager at him shouting/swearing the lot as if hes just killed someone, this can be for things as little as not texting me back staright away and so on. I don't want to see my friends, most of them annoy me now...for no apparant reason. I eat eat eat. I feel like crying for the silliest of things sometimes nothing.
I was walking down the high street y/day and all of a sudden I got the urge to cry..for nothing! I just feel rubbish and the smallest of things makes me tumble down the hill I've rigirously climbed up. What I mean is that the smallest of things weigh me down my mood just drops.
I feel I could so without everyone. I feel totally dodgy towards most people, espesh my bf, this hurts a lot feeling like this. I am physically and verbally abusive...I'll admit it. If I get angry I just flip, I throw things at walls, and if given the chance i'd fly for anyone who said anything against me. I shout swear and insult the people I love. I do not have a clue why I do this and I so don't want to.
This has been going on for 6 months of my life now..I am 18 years old. It has officially ruined my life.
This is me on meds. I have been for 4 months The doctor will NOT change them?! How can I get him to change them. I really don't want to be around anymore.