Wow, I feel your suffering, please don't rush into any harsh decisions which you may regret at a later time. I'm new onto this forum but I'm not new to illness or marriage, I have been with my wife since 1988 and I know exactly that you both have to give and take a considerable amount to make it work, and what damage illness can cause to your marriage. Since being diagnosed with UC etc. I have occasionally become a real monster at times which I guess must make my wife want to walk out the door, I'm sure and I hope that it's a result of illness and not that I have turned into a bad person.
I agree with Cranky1 that you should not leave the marital home and make a diary of everything that happens and is said, also make sure you talk to other family members and any close friends, so that they are totally aware of what you are going through and may be able to offer additional support.
I may be completely wrong but there may be a possibility things have got on top of your husband, hey illness is very hard on us, but we rarely truly consider the effect it has on our partners and after all they support us through our bad times but who supports them?
Please understand that I am in no way trying to criticise you or anything Cranky1 has said but I believe you have to work extremely hard to keep the marriage going after all, when we took our vows we all meant them right?
I believe that the best way to keep a marriage alive is to imagine you're taking a driving test, imagine your examiner is watching your every move, so overemphasise the movements by that I mean when I drive my car I don't turn my head to look in the mirror, but if I were on my test I know the examiner would be watching for that very movement, so I'd move my head, I pushed the vacum cleaner around the house earlier when I finished I phoned my wife on the phone and told her that I had just finished the cleaning
See where I'm going with this, my wife appreciates it when I do that stuff so when I have done good I'll let her know and hey I like the praise, I'm not suggesting that your husband would be thrilled to learn that you had just done the housework, but you know what he likes so do something for him after reading this and if you can let him know. One of my best moves ever was picking a leaf of a tree, after an argument one day I was walking back home from work I picked a leaf off a tree for no particular reason, when I got home I told my wife I had been thinking about
her all day and I was so sorry about
the argument that I felt I wanted to get her some flowers but that I hadn't been anywhere that any were sold, so I picked that leaf and although it wasn't as colourful and pretty it was a living thing and to me it meant as much as flowers, you know what it worked, and I was forgiven, my mates at work couldn't believe I had the nerve to try it on and I don't suppose I'll ever try that one again but originality works!
Maybe you won't be able to resolve matters with your husband, but unless you work at it 100% you will never know, there are too many failed marriages in this world and I truly believe a considerable amount of those marriages could have been save if one of the involved gave it that 100%.
I wish you all the luck in the world, if you do decide to give it another go, you need to write out a plan list all the things he enjoys doing and work at taking the stress off him for a while he may be in serious need for a rest. You mentioned that you haven't been on here for sometime, well now your computer is up and running, use this forum and any others for support and try to give your husband a break from your illness.
In my opinion you should fight for your marriage for as long as possible even if it seems like the other half has given up, be honest and
open with him and tell him that you realise how much he is suffering right now and try try try to get things back on track.
TAKE FLYING LESSONS ON A MOUNTAIN BIKE TODAY!