Posted 6/4/2007 11:01 AM (GMT -7)
This last weekend was one of the worst. Let be give you a brief runndown, and ask some questions at the end.
Thursday Night- I couldn't sleep. I took Lunesta, which has been working for about a month, but still wasn't close to sleepy. I spent the whole night online (at this site, no less)
I was up all day Friday taking care of 3 small children. I cought a 90 minute nap, but was OK. I have anxeiety about money and our upcoming budget after I stop working to go to school this fall, but not terrible. It seemed that the more teired I got, the more I worried about it.
Friday Night- I could't sleep. I took the Lunesta again, and slept till about 12:30 from 10, but them pretty much laid awake all night. I didn't think about anything in particular. The "depressed" thoughts came back.
Saturday I went to work from 8-5. Sometimes I got so sleepy it felt like I was spinning. My depression was on full force. I am able to hide it with clients, but cried anytime I was alone. I wanted to hurt myself, but only for the attention that it would cause. I knew that even when I was thinking it.
Saturday Night- I got 6 hours of sleep, but I must have woken up a half dozen times that night. I went right back out, but got up more sleepy than I went down.
I skipped church in the AM, but had to attend the kid's program in the afternoon since I hade made the commitment, (and the kid's wanted to attend). I was lucky just to get the kids and myself dressed and fed that day. I felt unable to function at all. I could bearly hold a conversation without crying all over the person.
Sunday Night- I slept for 6 hours strait through. I didn't fall asleep till 12, even with the Lunesta, but it was continuious sleep, so I feel like a new person today.
Today I feel like the weekend was something I could have possibly made up, although I know I didn't. I feel analitical about it. I still feel slightly shaky, nervous, and distracted. I could sleep longer if I had the time, and I still feel like I could do something to draw attention to myself- although I am no planning on doing it. I want to- but I don't. Like I am fighting with another part of myself.
Has anyone else had times like this?
Does anyone else have a story similar to this?
I was doing fine, then it's like i was kicked down a few notches.
What would you reccomend that I do to feel better and prevent this in the future?
When you cannot stand, on whom do you lean?