Well, my wife has given up. She's told me that she's leaving. She's had some very immature reactions to things over the years and this one took the cake. I have an ex-wife that I had two of my children with. My 13 year old went on her first plane ride by herself to visit relatives and she was flying in today. Today is my day with my kids, so I went to pick up my daughter at the airport. My ex-wife called me and asked if she could come to the airport to greet our daughter off the plane since neither of us has seen her for almost two weeks. It's an hour's drive to the airport and I thought it would be ridiculous to tell her no when I'd be driving right by her house.
I should preface this with saying that my wife has ALWAYS had a problem with my ex-wife. She hates her with a passion and the two of them have barely spoken a dozen words to each other in 5 years. My wife is very immature about
it and absolutely HATES that I'm cordial to my ex. I have stood my ground - it doesn't matter how she feels about
my ex, I'm not being cordial because of my ex, I'm being cordial and respectful for my KIDS. I have been adamant about
that and I'm proud of that fact. The funny thing is - what would my wife think of me if I treated my ex poorly? What kind of man would she be married to? What kind of character would that show? My two kids from that marriage are as well adjusted as possible and they are both on honor roll and in advanced studies and get straight A's. I can't imagine what kind of problems would be caused if I was not cordial to their mom. I should also say that I don't have regular contact with my ex. She doesn't call the house, we don't chit chat, we don't talk about
each other's day, etc. There's no inappropriate contact whatsoever.
So, I gave my ex a ride to the airport and back. No stopping for dinner, nothing but picking our daughter up and that was it. My wife hit the proverbial ceiling. She told me that my ex runs our household and that she couldn't take it anymore and she was divorcing me. What she is referring to is that every once in a while, my ex-wife calls and asks if we can switch a weekend or change a day here and there. I don't have a valid reason to say no, so if we don't have other plans, I usually say yes. They are MY KIDS!! It has nothing to do with my ex-wife, but my wife does not see it that way. She railed me tonight and said that our marriage will never work out. She said that she shouldn't have married me in the first place because I had an ex-wife with kids. She said that she can't handle it and the scheduling, etc. and that she was done. Ironically enough, she's now planning on being my "new" ex-wife and will have to schedule things with me and the THREE kids we have together. Ugh.
This is going to be a very hard road. I'm looking at having two ex-wives and five children. What the hell did I get myself into? She has all but given up on getting better for herself. It's much easier to run than stay and do the work. There's too much to work on, so she's leaving - that's actually what she said. Pure genius. This is absolutely horrible. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter with this woman. I'm now facing not having her half the week. I don't know how I'm going to handle that - let alone the other kids.
She's now so angry at me that she doesn't care at all. She told me that she doesn't know if she could ever get to even with the way she feels about
me, let alone have any positive feelings. I have no idea how this got to this point so dramatically. The things that might be a factor are 1) she has been going through sugar withdrawals after being off sugar for 3 or 4 days and 2) she has been off of anti-depressants all together for several weeks. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it, but it's certainly interesting.
I still love my wife, but I'm not sure if she's mature enough to handle things in our marriage. She's all but said that to me. She said that she thought that she could handle this life with five kids, a business, a marriage, and an ex-wife. Now, she's saying that she was wrong and she gives up. Wow. So apparently you can "try out" a family and husband - and even have a baby! - and then change your mind and run away without giving it a second thought. No regrets and no consideration to the family that you built with your spouse who loves you very, very much and would do anything to make things better.
I want to thank everyone for all of the support over the past few weeks. It means a lot.