opened up to my mother yesterday. At first her reaction was just to hold me then she proceeded around the house in silence doing her normal tasks. Then today she has been acting very angry and almost mean. So now my mother just keeps saying that this is the straw the broke the camels back and that this is the icing on the cake for her belief that all men are evil and that the only good man is a dead one. I have tried to tell her that I am moving on with my life and the pain that this abuse has caused me, but her acting like this is only causing me to be in more pain. The only reason I told her was because my therapist told me I had to in order to move on and when I told my mom that her only response was "didn't the therapist think how this would make me feel". I feel like she doesn't really care that it happened to me, more that it happened to HER child. The other factor is that my father cannot know about
what happened because if he did he would most likely disown my brother and that is not what I want, I just wanted to be able to tell someone about
what happened to me, but now my mother is raving about
how men are evil and my father doesn't know what is going on, he just thinks that she is mad at him, but now she won't even let him sleep in their room, she is making him sleep on the couch. I don't know what to do, my father and her have always had problems and now recently they had seemed to be able to resolve them. Now with my bringing up this I fear that I have destroyed all the progress they had made in their relationship.
The reason my mom is angry at my dad though is because when she confronted my brother on the phone for why he did what he did to me, my brother gave the reason of my fathers physical abuse on him. My father in his younger days used to be very controlling and often violent with my brother, but now he isn't. He has said sorry to all of us and we have moved on from that and my mother has even forgiven him. But my brother used this abuse as a reason for why he did what he did to me. My mother is now practically placing the blame on my father.
I don't know what I should have done, my therapist told me that it would help with my recovery if I told my parents, and now all that it seems to have done is make things worse, only because of my mothers reaction, at first I was proud of myself and felt that it finally had lost it's power over me, when she was nice and supportive in the very beginning. But now, all she can do is rave about
how men are evil and should all be dead. I can't help but think that she doesn't care about
the pain that I am in. I told her that her raving on like that only served to cause me more pain but she said in an accusatory tone "What you want me to be an actress? All that silence will only serve to make me sick and die." I feel like it was the wrong decision to tell her what happened to me because it feels like she didn't care. Sometimes I think she doesn't care. I know that she loves me, but with this recent development it only seems to be that she is selfish and that she doesn't care that it happened to me, but rather she cares that I told her and that it only served to back up her theory that men are evil. The thing that is really getting to me is that she is blaming my therapist for this when it was my brother who committed the actual act, thats why I feel like she doesn't care, it is in the fact that she places the blame on the person who told me to tell her. I just feel so alone and scared like I did back when I was young. My mothers reaction to it has brought back a lot of the pain and anguish that I had felt melt away for the brief amount of time before she freaked out.
Has anyone else had an experience like this?
Reason for Edit:
I have taken 2 lines out of this post for violation of #12 (If it shouldn’t be viewed by minors, then it shouldn’t be posted to the forums or chat rooms.) I have tried to take as little out as possible so that the post still makes sense and I have not attempted to reword anything. If you want to email me regarding this, there is a link (Envelope Icon) on the left.
Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 6/13/2007 4:08:09 AM (GMT-6)