I have had such a hard time lately keeping my depression to a level that I can handle.
But,things are starting to build and I am afraid that I am going to blow big this time.
Daughter is giving me alot of trouble. She will be 20 on Halloween this year. She lost her temp job,I had been telling her all year that a temp job means just that "temp",but she just let it go. She owes me alot of money right now,and her dad informed her that when his new wife's baby is born she has to move out. Ok,I told her that she could move in with us ONLY if she went back to school and got a part time job.
She has not done anything. She has no plan on what she is going to do.
Now,Please don't lecture me on this one guys,it is my belief and I am not going to budge.
Last year she decided to start dating this kid from school. He was black,he talked and treated her like crap. I freaked out of course. It lasted about
a month and she finally had enough and called it quits. We spoke about
it last weekend and she admitted to me that she did it just to get a rise out of me. She never rebelled when she was a kid so I just chalked it up as that.
I am not racist,my best friend is black and she even agrees that my daughter is just asking for problems. I just do not want her to have to defend herself.
That was last weekend. On Tuesday her brother called me to tell me that she had been talking to this other kid online,and met him and after 2 days they decided they were dating. OMG He is black,he has no job,he has no car,and he does not sleep at home very often,just stays where he can.
I told her that I love her I will always be there for her,but I can not support this.
She of course is very upset with me. But,I am sorry I can't do it. She is so beautiful and I think she sells herself short.
I will go into the other crap later...I just don't know how to make her understand that this was the way I was raised and when people have beliefs they just can't change overnight.
I want her to go back to school,I want her to get a job. I do not want her to get pregnant like I did at 18 and have a kid. I know she has surpassed that age so far... and she claims she has never done anything with anyone. She did get on birth control after I told her that she was scaring me to death. So that is good. I just keep having nightmares that my child is going down a road that I won't be able to get her away from!
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Currently taking none.www.healingwell.com/donatewww.myspace.com/ShynSassy315
"I am woman,hear me roar one day and cry the next!!!"
Post Edited (ShynSassy) : 6/15/2007 5:21:12 AM (GMT-6)