You don't sound like an evil person to me. There are people out there who do much worse... they are evil. (IMO) I agree with skitt. You should be really proud of you and your daughter. Yourself for making yourself do things you dont want to when you could have taken the easy route, and your daughter for her wonderful performance and winning the competitions. Staying in the moment is good advice. The past cannot be changed, but we can learn from it. The next time you have the same situation with your son, you will be able to react in a more positive way because of your past experiences. (Although naughty boys do desereve a good telling off!)
Its not about how many times you fall off the horse, its the fact that you manage to get back on.