I am a newbie to the forums, and depression in general aswell, sorta. Im 27 y/o female.
I didn't realise alot, until recently -It has effected my entire life - it has turned it upside down. It has became alot worst in the last two years. and more in the last few months. It been really scary yet unsure of why i am this way..confuseing
I am learning alot, and trying my hardest to understand or learn what its all about, what is going on with me, who I am again....trying to find, the innerside of what I know must be there, but it's lost to depression and who knows what else.
I also find myself, worried alot more, stressing, scared and shy and cant deal with groups of large, or smaller groups of people, wonderin what people think of me. I'd much rather be alone, than around people.
My family doesn't really understand and aren't really sure of what is going on either (as im still learning too) and than there is members, that - have made this whole experience, a lot worst. They dont think there's anything wrong I acted happy - but I wanted to say, hey...blah blah..but -- Somethings are best left unsaid, I dont want to hurt anyone or make them feel bad either.
I have been to my family doctor - who gave me celexa 20 mg but have gone down to 1/2 a pill. I haven't been able to talk to my doctor, to clearly express, how bad it really is. (I've only started taking it - first time for meds)
IHas anyone been so shy, and scared..? and depressed, scared to understand Scared to learn, scared to find out whats been eating at you, for so many years - that you pushed away, because you didnt know why you didn't feel like you fitted in with the rest - u know u were different...but u didnt know how.
Im scared, but Im hopeful, right now atleast, that I will make it thru and be able to enjoy life once again, or atleast a happy meduim.
I can only control my actions, I cant control the actions of others
I wish I could, im stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Anyone.....been there...what am i to do - how do I express whats wrong, if only I am learning.
Post Edited (ifnotenuff) : 6/19/2007 10:18:59 PM (GMT-6)