Hi this is Kitt. I know how you feel as I have been in your place more than once and it is so painful to know you are a good person and someone is blasting you with both barrels. I had a very similiar experience.
My husband was single, right out of the military service and I was a divorcee with 3 children. His Mother was died in the wool Catholic. She nearly had a stroke but my husband did not ask but told them we were getting married and they were smart enough to live with it or lose touch with their oldest son.
I was very hurt because I knew how they felt about me and it was very sad but alas it turned out well and they love me now..............so there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I am glad you spoke your mind and have resolved some of this conflict. I know it is hard to just forget the pain and the tears but give yourself time.
I wish you peace and happiness but most of all I wish you love.