Thats wonderful news Asking. It must be nice to get the "normal" days as a kind of break.

Best Wishes

Darren

Co-Moderator - Depression Forum

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I told her I didnt know, and when I hung up I had the stark realization that it just didnt matter what she does. I cannot save her or figure it all out for her or pluck money off of a tree. I can no longer allow myself to be pulled apart and sucked dry by her insensitvity, the unreasonable demands, constant trauma and drama, unsupportive and her just plain Wacko-Wanda behavior.

I am sorry she is having dental issues, but she is an adult, and needs to do the same thing that any other adult needs to do and just figure it out.... I can only muster up about half an ounce of sympathy for the mouth that screams at me all the time - as far as I am concerned she is reaping what she has sown.

So I am feeling a little freedom right now - What really matters to me is going fine - my kids are healthy and active and loving, I have 2 jobs that I really like and healthy friendships therin, I will  find a way to manage my pain and have surgery, and truthfully, I am just irresponsible enough to not really care if the credit bills get ever get paid or not.... I really dont care, I am fine with the necessary essentials. So my dear wife can just charge it up and thats okay.... time to let it go.

So this was a great realization - I have to make my health, both physical and mental, a priority and I am feeling ready to take some small steps towards healing myself, maybe the relationship if it works out and definately work on healing these physical issues....

wish me luck

thank you for being here................

It sounds like your'e stuck between a rock and a hard place and I am sorry that I cannot help you more than just simple advice. This may prove to be an unpopular piece of advice with others but this is the way I see things and I have seen it work. There is only a finite amount that you can do for your wife and if this isnt enough then perhaps it is time to consider going your separate ways. If this is tearing you up as much as you said in your last post on a regular basis, then you risk becoming ill yourself and then you wont be in a position to help support your wife anyway since you risk not being able to work. Its not just your mental health you risk, it is your physical health as well. My mum always used to say "Look after number 1 (Yourself). Because if you dont, you can't look after anyone else!"

I dont want you to get down-heartened by what I have said but I feel some real honest advice is whats called for. As Rick said, your not an irresponsible person.

Keep us posted and remember we are all here for you.

Darren

Co-Moderator - Depression Forum

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Hello Asking,

This is Kitt, I want to welcome you and to tell you that you are not alone.

I am glad to see your taking some positive steps in healing yourself.

I promise to post more later as I went through a not so pleasant divorce but had I not, I might have gone down hill into the pits.  I was 22 years old with 3 little ones.

I know how you feel looking at any decision re seperation.

Gentle Hugs

Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders

Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
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"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

Co-Moderator - Depression Forum

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