Maybe I am reading between the lines here, hopefully I am but I don't think so.
I am going to tell you something..you are not thinking about
what something like that does to your family.
It will tear them apart,they will always blame themselves. They will never get over it.
your daughter? Think about
the horror she would have coming home and seeing that?
your daughter having to go into therapy in order to try to deal with her nightmares for the rest of her life.
It is time that you get help,and I mean NOW
You owe it to your children. Simple as that.
Call someone,or simply walk yourself into a hospital and tell them you need help.
Please,get help for your children they do not deserve this at all.
Here are some helpful resources also:
National Suicide Hotline
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.
Helpful Web Sitehttp://suicidehotlines.com/
(includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)