I'm really sorry I moved away. But you didn't think I would live at home forever did you? I know, moving to another state wasn't what I expected either. What makes it even worse is you were right. I hate Iowa. But I can't tell you that because all I'll ever hear from you anymore is "Move home then". Who am I kidding, that's all I hear now.
I miss you both so much. And Shannon, and Pookie. I miss the sunny Florida beaches and the beautiful parks. I miss the seagulls and the palm trees, the shopping and having things to do. I miss your home cooked meals and your company.. I miss how happy him and I were down there. We never fought, we had so much fun. Now all we do is work and sit at home and fight from time to time.
I think it may be because I secretly resent him for moving me here. And I worry that he'll never move back with me. That if I want to move back to Florida, it would have to be without him, and I can't bear that thought. I'm so in love with him and I don't know what to do because I don't want to live here for much longer. I can't live here forever. I want to marry him and have kids with him, but I couldn't imagine having kids without you nearby to spoil them. And there's no way I would want them growing up in this town... Everyone I've met here does or has done meth before, it's like it's some sort of initiation rite of being a teenager here. That terrifies me!
Dad, I'm sorry you got shingles right after I left. I know that was my fault.
Mom, I'm sorry you've been so sick. I worry that it's my fault as well, since you don't eat when you're depressed, and when you don't eat, you have problems with your diabetes. I'm sorry.
Shannon, I'm sorry I'm not there for you to help you through your boy troubles and be a good big sister for you.
Sophie, I'm sorry I abandoned you. You are such a great dog and you needed me, you needed my love and I just left you. I miss your nubby little tail and your boxer kisses.
I don't know what to do. I need help. I'm even on anti-depressants now... I don't cry as much as I used to, but it doesn't take away the homesickness. Will it ever go away?
My heart hurts. 1,400 miles is too far. Someone please convince him that Florida is better. Please.
I miss you so much.
Your Stupid Daughter.