Posted 6/27/2007 8:24 AM (GMT -6)
This forum is very special to me for many reasons. For those that are struggling, and I have noticed recently that there is a tremendous amount of us going through some really bad times. I know that this is a depression forum and that is maybe what we are supposed to see but I have noticed a trend of severe depression in a lot of us.
I have been a member for several months now and if you read my posts you will see that I go through a rollercoaster, if you will, of emotions with my depression. I live with the fact that I will never be cured of this illness and that everyday is a day where although I want it to be a good day, there are things I can do to see that happens but ultimately the demon that lives in my brain will control in the long run how I react to the days happenings.
What I do want to convey in this post is that I have been at the lowest depths of despair in my life over the past year. I have feelings of total hopelessness and thoughts of just not dealing with anything life has to offer no matter how it would affect the ones I love, the cold hard fact is that there are times when my pain has been so overwhelming that even the smallest blessings that get me through the day seem to be not enough but there are promises I have made to myself and someone that I love more than life itself and it is that promise that pushes me forward.
I know what it is like to feel like you dont have reason to see another day through and no matter how hard you try it doesnt go away, I have no sure fire cure for it believe me I deal with it on a daily basis. The one thing I do know is that I need to reach out for help and I want to feel better! Along with feeling bad mentally, my physical health is taking a toll.
Just know that when you are feeling like there is no way out and you dont think that there could be another day worse than the one you are having at that moment, you may be right but what you have to have is a reason to push. My plea to anyone going through the devastating days of depression is to find something in your life that even in your darkest moment WILL pull you back at least enough to regroup. I will be brutal here and say without something like this, you will have an easier time convincing yourself that there is no reason to "breath air". I know this because in my life, I do have those comfort zones and without them, I would be lost.
I know there are times when you cannot gather enough energy or thought process to think about the "comfort" you have. Everyone has one, you just have to really think about what it is.
At this point I am struggling and trying everything to get better. I know that if I do the best I can that I will see BETTER DAYZ. What else do I have, what else do you have?
For those struggling, know that you are not alone in this and that you too can strive for these dayz.
" We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo
" Love is being stupid together."
" Tonight I sent an angel to watch over you, but it came back. When I asked why, it told me that angels don't watch over other angels."